I was 22 at the time and I remember looking at that picture, my stomach tying itself into a horrible knot, thinking: 'What am I going do about this?'
当时我才22岁,我记得我看着那张照片,心里十分纠结:“我该怎么办呢?”
Perhaps looking for some reassurance, I told my own best friend, Charlotte, who threw her hands up in horror.
可能是想寻找安慰,我把这件事告诉了我最好的朋友夏洛特,她惊恐地举起双手。
I'd have done the same if any of my friends had fallen for a bloke with a beautiful woman as his closest pal. It's every woman's nightmare.
如果我的朋友爱上一个拥有漂亮女性密友的男孩,我可能也会这样反应,这简直是每个女人的噩梦。
And so, the next time Jackie's name cropped up, I asked Mike, as casually as possible, if there had ever been anything besides friendship between them.
所以,当杰姬的名字再次出现的时候,我装作随意地问迈克,他们之间除了友谊之外,还有什么吗?
'Never,' he said, as though the idea was inconceivable. 'She's my best mate.'
“从来没有,”他说,好像我说了什么莫名其妙的话,“她是我最好的伴侣。”
He explained that they'd met as teenagers in sixth-form in 1988 and bonded over their love of music. At the time, Mike had a girlfriend so, from the start, romance wasn't an option.
他向我解释到,他们是在1988年读六年级时认识的,当时彼此都是少男少女,他们因为对音乐的热爱而成为好朋友。当时,迈克有个女朋友,所以从一开始,他们之间就不存在浪漫情愫。
Then they'd gone to the same university, further nurturing their friendship.
后来他们上了同一所大学,他们的友谊得到了进一步的发展。
There was a point when they found themselves single at the same time but, by then, they felt more like siblings. There was a line between them that neither had any desire to cross.
当他们发现自己同时落单的时候,他们觉得彼此更像兄弟姐妹。他们之间有一条界线,彼此都不愿越界。
Was I reassured? Absolutely not. Somehow, I managed to keep my concerns from Mike, but playing it cool was incredibly difficult. Especially after Jackie and I met at a music festival four months later and I discovered that, as well as being beautiful, she had a wonderful personality.
我安心了吗?绝对没有。但是我还是对迈克隐瞒了我的担忧,但是想要不露声色,真是太难了。尤其是当我和杰姬在四个月后的音乐节上相遇后,我发现她除了人很漂亮,性格也非常好。
If only she'd had some obvious flaw to explain why Mike hadn't fallen for her, I told sympathetic friends. Then I'd have felt so much better.
我跟惺惺相惜的好友说,要是杰姬有什么明显的缺陷,能解释得通为什么迈克没有爱上她,该有多好。那样我会感觉好很多。
All I could think was how, on paper at least, there wasn't a single reason why they wouldn't make the most amazing couple.
我所能想到的是,至少在名义上,没有任何理由说得通为什么他们没能成为最耀眼的一对情侣。
Thankfully, as my relationship with Mike went from strength to strength, my doubts started to fade.
谢天谢地,随着我和迈克的关系越来越好,我的疑虑开始消退。
Jackie lived in Manchester and Mike was in London at the time, so they rarely got to see each other, although they often spoke on the phone. The warmth of those conversations was clear and it slowly became easier to accept that he and Jackie really were the best of friends.
当时杰姬住在曼彻斯特,迈克住在伦敦,所以他们很少见面,但是他们经常通电话。他们的对话中处处显露出温情,渐渐地,我开始接受了他和杰姬是密友这件事。
Any remaining niggles didn't get in the way of Mike and I falling deeply in love. He's like no man I've ever known, totally in touch with his feelings — and he proposed less than a year into the relationship.
除此之外,我和迈克坠入爱河的过程没有其他任何羁绊。他不像我之前认识的人,我深深为他着迷——而且在恋爱未满一年时,他向我求婚了。
When he said he'd asked Jackie to be 'best man' at our wedding, it was a defining moment.
当他说想让杰姬担任我们婚礼上的“伴郎”时,这是一个关键时刻。
Suddenly, I was able to see their relationship for exactly what it is: a wonderfully strong bond that utterly defies society's belief that men and women can't be the best of friends.
突然之间,我意识到他们的关系到底是什么样的:一种非常牢固的关系,完全颠覆了男人和女人不能成为密友的社会观念。
There wasn't going to be a final plot twist: Mike didn't secretly harbor romantic feelings for Jackie. Otherwise, why on earth would he give her this important role on our wedding day?
最后的剧情反转不可能发生:迈克从未对杰姬怀有隐秘浪漫的感情。否则,他为什么要在我们结婚的那天让她担任这个重要的角色?
That's not to say there weren't raised eyebrows at Mike's best 'man' being a woman. But he and Jackie were oblivious.
在迈克选择一位女人来担任伴郎的时候,我并非完全镇定自若。但是他和杰姬都没有注意到。
Indeed, they've been in their own happy little bubble for the past 30 years. It simply doesn't occur to them that anyone else will be surprised to see a man and woman such good friends.
事实上,在过去的30年里,他们俩仍一直处于自己幸福的小泡泡里。他们根本不在意别人看到男女之间如此深厚的友谊会不会吃惊。
It is an unusual situation: there's no denying that. And even after I stopped worrying about any romantic aspect of their friendship, I still wasn't sure how I was meant to fit in.
这是一种非比寻常的处境:没人否认。甚至当我不再为他们的友谊中是否掺杂了一丝半点的浪漫担心之后,我仍然不确定我该如何适应。