I wondered whether I should try to develop a close friendship with Jackie myself. Should I be ringing her up for long chats? Making lunch plans?

我想过是否该和杰姬建立亲密的友谊。我是不是应该给她打电话长谈?约她吃午餐?

But I already had my own best friend in Charlotte. And I would never have late-night phone calls with any of Mike's male friends — so why Jackie? Over time, we settled into a comfortable pattern where I just left them to it.

但我已经有了夏洛特这个最好的朋友。而且我永远不会和迈克的男性朋友半夜打电话—那为什么要和杰姬打电话？随着时间的推移，我们找到了彼此都觉得舒服的相处模式，我只管放手让他们去。

Jackie's like a sister-in-law to me — if I ever need her help, I know she's there for me and I love her company.

杰姬就像我的小姑子，如果我需要她，我知道她就在我身边，我很喜欢有她的陪伴。

She's now in a committed relationship, with a teenage daughter and a hectic career. But that's not stopped her being an important part of our lives.

她现在已经有了一段忠诚的恋情，有一个十来岁的女儿和一份忙碌的事业。但这都不能阻止她成为我们生活中重要的一部分。

I can still remember, through the fog of having become a mother, seeing Mike proudly pass our week-old baby daughter to Jackie to hold for the first time.

我还记得，在初为人母手忙脚乱之时，我看着迈克第一次骄傲地把我们一周大的宝贝女儿递到杰姬怀里的情景。

It struck me then — and has many times since — that if anything should ever happen to me, Jackie would drop everything to be there for Mike and our family (we now have two daughters). That's incredibly comforting to know.

我突然意识到—就像我后来一再体会到的—如果我发生了什么不测，杰姬为随时帮助迈克和家人(我们现在有两个女儿)打点一切。这令我深感欣慰。

There are definitely three of us in my relationship, but actually, I get a great deal out of that.

我的婚姻中有三个人，但事实上，我从中得到了许多许多。

Mike's friendship with Jackie knocked some of the rough edges off him. He's one of three brothers and could have been much more laddish if he hadn't had that sisterly influence from his teens.

迈克和杰姬的友谊使他不再那么锋芒毕露。他家只有三个兄弟，如果他十几岁的时候没有杰姬像妹妹一样带给他的影响，他会幼稚得多。

I think he's kinder and a more caring man for having had a female best friend since he was little more than a boy. And that's a plot twist for which I am deeply grateful.

我觉得他从少年时期就因为拥有女性密友而变得更善良，更体贴。如果这个算是剧情反转，那我为此感到深深地感激。

HUSBAND MIKE SAYS:

先生迈克说：

The first time that Jackie and Claire met, watching my best friend and the woman I loved getting on so well felt like one of life's perfect moments.

杰姬和克莱尔第一次见面时，看着我最好的朋友和我最爱的女人相处得那么好，我感觉就像一辈子里最完美的时刻。

I kept thinking: 'These are the two people I like most in the world and they like each other, too.' I felt nothing but lucky.

我一直在想：“这是世界上我最喜欢的两个人，她们也都很喜欢对方。”我觉得我真是太幸运了。

Later, I told Jackie that I could see myself spending the rest of my life with Claire.

后来，我告诉杰姬，我希望和克莱尔共度余生。

'Tell her that,' she urged me. 'If she's the one, don't hold back. You don't want to risk losing her.'

“告诉她，”她催促我。“如果她就是你的真命天女，别退缩。你不希望冒着失去她的风险吧。”

I was only 24 and might otherwise have played it cool, nervous to commit so early. But, on Jackie's advice, I told Claire just how I felt and it turned out to be the best thing I ever did.

我当时只有24岁，对于一辈子的大事还是有点紧张的，否则我会更镇静自若一些。但是，在杰姬的建议下，我告诉克莱尔我的感受，这是我做过的最棒的事情。

Perhaps it was naive of me never to consider that my friendship with Jackie could be an issue for Claire, or any woman I dated before her. But it was unthinkable to me that Jackie could ever be anything other than my dearest friend.

也许我太天真，从未想过我和杰姬—或者在预见克莱尔之前约会过的任何女友—之间的友谊可能会成为克莱尔的困扰。但我从没想过杰姬除了是我最亲密的朋友之外的任何身份。

Unsurprisingly, it has been suggested in the past that we at least try to turn our friendship into a relationship.

当然了，之前很多人就建议过我们，把我们的友情试着变成爱情。

But I always knew that what we had was so precious, I couldn't possibly gamble with it — if we lost each other through a failed romance, that would really hurt us both.

但我一直都知道，我们拥有的东西是如此珍贵，我不可能拿它来赌—如果我们的爱情无疾而终，失去彼此，对于我俩来说都是真正的打击。

We never talked about it, but I'm certain Jackie felt the same.

我们从来没谈过这件事，但我肯定杰姬也有同感。

I wiped away a fair few of her tears when we were younger, when other men let her down. I recall comforting her after one particularly upsetting break-up and thinking: 'So this is what happens when you hurt a girl.'

当我们年轻时，当她被男人伤了心时，我会为她抹去泪水。我记得有一次，她分手后特别难过，我当时心想：“当你伤害一个女孩的时候，她会如此伤心。”

It was a salutary experience. It made me want to be a better, more considerate man.

这是一种很好的人生体会，让我努力成为一个更好、更体贴的男人。

Apart from my marriage and my family, my relationship with Jackie has been my most enduring. That's why I asked her to be my 'best man'.

在婚姻和家庭之外，我和杰姬的关系是维持时间最久的。这就是为什么我要她做我的“伴郎”。

Having her hand me Claire's ring on our wedding day, watching her cradle my newborn baby and doing the same with hers, celebrating our 30th, then 40th, birthdays together — each time, I think back to our 17-year-old selves and marvel at how far we've come.

在婚礼那天，杰姬把克莱尔的戒指交给我；我看着她抱着我刚出生的宝宝，我也抱过她的宝宝；庆祝我们的30岁生日，然后是40岁生日，每次回想起17岁的我们，我都惊叹我们已经走了这么远。

She anchors me and I think we prove that a man and a woman can have a truly platonic friendship.

她支持我，我想我们证明了男人和女人之间也有真正的柏拉图式的友谊。

继续阅读：老公   朋友   女人   密友

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