What is it like to be single in your 30s in India

在印度，30多岁还未成家会怎样？

QUORA网站读者评论：

来源：三泰虎      http://www.santaihu.com/45941.html     译者：Joyceliu

外文链接：https://www.quora.com/What-is-it-like-to-be-single-in-your-30s-in-India

Anonymous

It’s full of mix Emotions and Experiences.

它充满了复杂的情感和体验。

I am 34 Years old Indian Woman living in a Metro city of India and working with a MNC.

我是一个34岁的印度女人，住在印度的大都市，在一家跨国公司工作。

I didn’t get married till this age because, I was in a long term relationship, we were both from different communities, My parents were fine with this alliance but his were not and we broke up.

我直到这个年龄还没结婚，是因为我谈过一场很长的恋爱，我们都来自不同的社区，我的父母对这个联盟很满意，但他的家庭不满意，所以我们分手了。

After that I couldn’t make myself ready for arrange Marriage. I met many guys through arrange marriage setup but as it is expected in most of the cases that you have to conclude in one or two meetings. and it didn’t work out for me. Now I am no more interested to meet strangers.

在那之后，我一直没有为包办婚姻做好准备。我通过相亲认识了很多男人，但正如大多数情况下所预料的那样，你必须在一两次见面中就决定。但对我来说很难。现在我不再对陌生人感兴趣了。

So, how it is like to being single in 30’s in India? It's a roller coaster ride, People will judge you more often, in Office and society some men could consider you easy available.

那么，30多岁的印度单身人士是什么样的体验呢?这就像坐过山车，在办公室和社会上，人们会更频繁地评价你，有些男人会认为你很容易搞到手。

There will be unwanted advice and suggestions even from strangers, that one should think of future and how it's difficult for a single woman to survive. People who seldom speak with you but are enthusiastic to pass their judgment.

即使是陌生人，也会给你一些不受欢迎的忠告和建议，比如，一个人应该考虑考虑未来，一个单身女性如何难以生存。有些人很少和你说话，但他们热衷于对别人评头论足。

Distant relatives will always be after your parents that how irresponsible they are, who couldn’t get their daughter married till this age.

远方的亲戚总是追着你的父母说他们是多么不负责任，到这个年龄才没把他们的女儿嫁出去。

You will feel at times if you are the reason behind the high diabetic level of your mother and blood pressure of your father.

有时你会觉得你是造成你母亲糖尿病和你父亲高血压的原因。

Sometimes I feel Lucky that I m living on my own terms, when I see my married friends and relatives miserable and lonely despite being with their “Better Half”. I know many couples who are together just because divorce is a taboo in India and in reality they can’t even stand to each other.

有时我觉得很幸运，因为我过着自己的生活，当我看到我的已婚朋友和亲戚尽管和他们“更好的一半”生活在一起，却感到痛苦和孤独。我知道很多夫妻勉强维持在一起只是因为离婚在印度是一种禁忌，而事实上他们甚至都不愿站在一起。

I am not sure if I will remain single or will get married in near future, but Arrange marriage is definitely not my thing.

我不确定我是否会一直保持单身或在不久的将来结婚，但包办婚姻绝对不适合我。

Yes, I miss being with someone at times, but also not afraid to live alone, watching movie and travelling alone. Its just that I want a partner with whom I am comfortable and feel loved than just being a wife.

是的，我有时想念和某人在一起的时光，但也不害怕独自生活，看电影和旅行。只是我想要一个让我感到舒适和能感受到爱意的伴侣，而不仅仅是一个妻子。

Anonymous

I am doing absolutely awesome.

我过得非常好。

I celebrated by 30th birthday before 13 days writing this post so I qualify for the answer.

我在写这篇文章前的13天庆祝了我的30岁生日，所以我有资格给出这个答案。

Though my parents have never asked me till now about my marriage because I have a sibling who is currently their priority hence I am enjoying my life. But I don't think I am getting married soon.

虽然我的父母至今从来没有过问我的婚姻，因为我有一个兄弟姐妹，他们目前还顾不上我，因此我能够享受我的生活。但我想我不会很快结婚。

• I work in an MNC and earn decent salary.
• 我在跨国公司工作，领着不菲的薪水。
• I live in Pune city which is quite big and happening place.
• 我住在浦那市，这是个非常大的城市，很热闹。
• I am independent, by all means.
• 我独立。
• I live in big 2BHK flat all alone since an year (I know this is unfair). Though over all I am living alone for 2 years.
• 我独自居住在一个很大的2居室一年多了(我知道这不公平)。不过我一共已经独居两年多了
• I have learnt to travel alone but many times I find some or other fellow Traveller travelling alone. So I always find some or other company.
• 我学会了独自旅行，但是有很多次，我找到了一些或其他独自旅行的旅伴。所以我总是会找到同行人。
• I have learnt to watch movies (yeah in theatre) it's not that bad if the movie is interesting.
• 我学会了一个人看电影(是的，在电影院)，如果电影很有趣，其实没那么糟糕。
• I enjoy being going to spas.
• 我享受温泉水疗。
• When I see other couples I never get jealous, trust me on this day, when I see a couple getting romantic I observe myself that I am having a smile on my face and I am rather happy for them. This is because I think India should have more love marriages.
• 当我看到其他情侣时，我不会嫉妒，相信我在这一天,当我看到一对夫妇的浪漫举动时，我观察自己，发现自己脸上露出微笑，我为他们而高兴。这是因为我认为印度应该有更多的爱情婚姻。
• I have also being to pubs alone.
• 我还一个人去酒吧。
• I watch science related videos too often.
• 我经常看科学相关的视频。

Most of my friends ask me don’t you get bored alone specially in such a big flat? I tell them just give me internet and mobile that's it, then I seldom find time for myself.

我的大多数朋友都问我，你一个人在这么大的公寓里不觉得无聊吗?我告诉他们只要给我互联网和手机就行了，而且我很少给自己独处的时间。

Honestly speaking, I don’t get bored of living alone because every weekend I travel some or other part of the city or outside the city rather sometimes I feel I am traveling too much just for fun. If I do get bored I just step outside my house.

老实说，我并不厌倦独自生活，因为每个周末我都会去城市的某个地方或其他地方旅行，有时我觉得我只是为了好玩而旅行。如果我真的感到无聊，我就走出家门。

Most of the people ask me for how long can you stay alone I simply answer like the same way I have lived for last 30 years, I might live the next 30 years.

大多数人问我你能一个人呆多久，我只是简单地回答，就像我过去30年的生活方式一样，我可能会这样再活30年。

Some doubt my sexual orentation and I am like, do you think I give a f***, of what you think about me?

有些人怀疑我的性取向，我****，你究竟是怎么看待我的?

If I sometime feel to have sex then you know I always have some or other choice. I don't necessarily have to have sex. There are some other options. But I don't feel sex is a tabboo. If rest of the animals can do it without being married why shouldn't I?

如果我有时想做爱，那么你知道我总是有一些或其他的选择。我不一定非要做爱。还有一些其他的选择。但我不认为性是一种禁忌。如果其他动物不结婚也能做到，那我为什么不能呢?

I am actually surrounded by some or other type of people specially at weekends, like friends,colleagues. So I don’t really am ‘alone’ all the time. Sometimes they bring their kids along with them to meet me. Playing with kids makes me feel happier and makes me feel a bit younger.

实际上，我周围有一些或其他类型的人，尤其是在周末，比如朋友、同事。所以我并不是一直‘孤独’的。有时他们带着他们的孩子来见我。和孩子们一起玩让我感觉更快乐，让我感觉更年轻。

I am not looking for love, because I already had a romantic partner before 2 years who is now married to somone else.

我不是在寻找爱情，因为我在两年前就有了一个恋人，但现在已经和别人结婚了。

Yeah, some of my friends, relatives ask me “when are you getting married” I simply answer them- never。

是的，我的一些朋友和亲戚会问我:“你什么时候结婚?”，我都会简单回答他们：永远不结。

Bhaveen Sheth, Executive-Human Resources (2008-present)

As I age and add an extra candle to my birthday cake, I write down my thoughts and feelings in this blogspot.

随着年龄的增长，我在生日蛋糕上又添了一根蜡烛，我在这个博客上写下了我的想法和感受。

I am now approaching my mid 30's. Life is going on . My juniors are now getting married and peers are raising a family. At this point of life I have overcome the challenges that solo living puts in front of you. I am no longer desperate to get married, I now focus on improving the quality of my life everyday. Women no longer interest me and marriage may now be an unrealized dream. Focus is on self improvement and self development has become an integral part of my life.

我现在快30多岁了。生活还在继续。我的三年级学生现在都结婚了，同事们都开始养家糊口了。在这一点上，我已经克服了独自生活给人带来的挑战。我不再渴望结婚，我现在专注于提高我每天的生活质量。我对女人不再感兴趣，婚姻现在可能是一个未实现的梦想。专注于自我提升，自我发展已经成为我生活中不可或缺的一部分。

There are times when I feel lonely, sad and alone:I feel that I have been left out from living a normal life.Did not get married, do not have a spouse and have not fathered a child. Yes, I go through such times. But every morning when I wake up , I look forward at contributing something to the world, look forward to improve my life, look forward for a better future.That is when I realize that I am happy being single.

有时我感到孤独、悲伤和孤独:我觉得自己被排除在正常生活之外。没有结婚，没有配偶，没有孩子。是的，我经历过这样的时刻。但是每天早上当我醒来的时候，我期待着为世界贡献一些东西，期待着改善我的生活，期待着一个更好的未来。这时我才意识到我很高兴自己仍是单身。

I no longer dream of meeting that beautiful soul mate.If some were it has to happen, it will happen, why should I bother?Many single women that I come across have extremely high expectations even in their 30's and rest of them are divorcees, widows, single moms, the dejected and rejected. Who wants to marry conceited and depressed women?

我不再梦想遇见那个美丽的灵魂伴侣。如果有些事情注定要发生，那我为什么要烦恼呢?我遇到的许多单身女性，即使到了30多岁，也有着极高的期望，其余的都是离婚、丧偶、单亲妈妈、情绪低落、被拒绝的人。谁愿意娶一个自负而忧郁的女人?

Creating meaningful relationships with people is more important for me. I have realized my sociability quotient, people love my company and often invite me to their homes for lunch and dinner. It makes me happy.

与人建立有意义的关系对我来说更重要。我意识到我的社交商，人们喜欢我的陪伴，经常邀请我去他们家吃午饭和晚饭。这使我快乐。

As I look over the past 34 years, my life has been good, there have been ups and downs, good times and bad times and I have accepted it.There is still a lot to achieve, miles to go and places to travel. I have not given up hope on finding a soul mate, however, I have become more pragmatic and practical.I look forward at what life has to offer and am willing to take the challenges head on.

回顾过去的34年，我的生活挺好的，有起有落，有好有坏，我都泰然接受。还有很多事情要实现，有很多路要走，有很多地方要去。我没有放弃寻找灵魂伴侣的希望，但我变得更加务实和实际。我期待着生活能给我带来什么，我愿意直面挑战。

Anonymous

I'm a 32 year old average looking single woman from South India. I have two sisters both are married and settled. One living happily other still cursing her parents for selecting such a worst partner for her and has no kids.

我是一个32岁的普通单身女性，来自印度南部。我有两个姐姐，她们都结婚了，也都安定下来了。一个快乐的生活，另一个仍然诅咒她的父母为她选择了这么糟糕的伴侣，没有孩子。

Myself I'm, a visually impaired person with 40% low vision. I finished my btech in computer science and currently working in a private sector, I could say I'm independent and bold but my family and friends have given me a label im kiddish which i still refuse to believe. Both of my sisters went through the typical arranged marriage system and got married and when my turn came the issues between my parents became so much bad and they started living separately. My elder sister was frantically searching grooms for me when i reached 30 and ended up choosing all jobless poorest neighbouring guys who are only eyeing the money which they get by marrying me. I don't say I need rich families or any luxurious life but with those whom I can never ever even imagine I really couldn't accept. I said a clear NO to her. They she got very angry and started abusing me by linking up with all the male friends I have, she doesn't even spare my doctor(eye specialist). I know she loves me so doing these all but marrying those whom which I can't even imagine is better than suicide j think. My mom once asked me look at yourself in the mirror you have no human look at least but still you are waiting for a handsome guy( this I got when I turn down the proposal of a priest). I'm not expecting any , handsome or ugly guys I just need peace that's the only thing I wish from my family. My elder sister's mil strictly warned her not to allow me going her home even for one day cuz I can be a burden for them later. I thought of committing a suicide many times but later I thought if the attempt fails the neighbours may find any other reason and of course I have no such courage.

至于我自己，是一个只有40%视力的视障人士。我在计算机科学领域完成了我的学士学位课程，目前在一家私营企业工作，我可以说我是独立和大胆的，但我的家人和朋友给了我一个孩子气标签，我仍然不相信。我的两个姐妹都经历了典型的包办婚姻制度，结婚了。当轮到我的时候，我父母之间的问题变得非常糟糕，他们开始分居了。当我30岁的时候，我的大姐疯狂地为我寻找新郎，结果选的都是失业的、最贫穷的邻居，他们只盯着娶我能赚到多少钱。我并不是说我需要富裕的家庭或任何奢侈的生活，但对于那种人，我永远无法想象，我真的无法接受。我明确地对她说，我不愿意。她非常生气，开始虐待我，联系了我所有的男性朋友，她甚至连我的医生(眼科专家)不放过。我知道她爱我才会这么做，但嫁给那些我想象不到的人还不如自杀算了。我妈妈曾经让我照照镜子，你这么丑，还在期盼帅哥么(这是我拒绝牧师的求婚时被人批判的话)。我不期待任何人，不管是英俊还是丑陋，我只是需要和平，这是我对我的家庭唯一的期盼。我姐姐的婆婆严厉地警告我姐姐，不要让我去她家，哪怕一天也不行，因为我以后可能会成为他们的负担。我想过很多次自杀，但后来我想，如果尝试失败了，邻居们可能会找到其他原因，当然我没有这样的勇气。

Why I'm so reluctant to marriage is I had no issues of getting married to a person who could understand me in my twenties but now I lost interest in it Both of my parents were fighting with each other ever since they married, my second sister's husband is mentally ill and taking medicines . She has so many family problems too first of all no kids Then both in laws hates her. They call me a responsibility. I have sooo much problems which I think I can handle. I don't want to add more more problems in my life.Marry someone and if that end up with a divorce leaving behind me with kids then how could I manage my kids alone. Already I've been labelled with a burden title then what about with kids. I'm happy with what I'm. I live the life the way I want , with no link up break up. Emotional tortures. I love doing crafts and I do run an online craft shop which I started around 6 months ago. I love doing experiments, reading . I think I have enough in my life. Enough to be happy with.

为什么我不愿结婚，是因为如果我在20出头岁的时候遇到一个能理解我的人，我不会不愿意结婚的，但现在我对婚姻失去了兴趣，我的父母自从结婚后就吵个没玩，我的第二个姐姐的丈夫是精神病患者，需要服用药物。她还有很多家庭问题，第一个问题就是没有孩子，公公婆婆都恨她。他们把我当做负担。我有很多问题，我想我自己能解决。我不想在我的生活中增添更多的问题。和别人结婚后，如果结局是离婚，留下我和孩子在一起，那么我怎么能独自抚养我的孩子。我已经被贴上了负担的标签，那孩子呢。我对自己的现状很满意。我过着自己想要的生活，没有分手的烦恼。情感上的折磨。我喜欢做手工艺品，我在6个月前开了一家网上工艺品商店。我喜欢做实验，看书。我想我的生活已经够充实了。足够让我自己快乐。

Yes I also face problems

是的，我也面临问题

1.Questions about my marriage from all around and their sympathy.

1 来自四面八方的关于我婚姻的问题以及他们的同情。

2.Getting linked up with all men I meet( mostly by my sisters)

2 与所有我遇到的男人建立联系(主要是我的姐妹)

3.Unnecessary conclusions about my past.( My imaginary breakup stories)

3 关于我过去的不必要的结论。(有关我的虚构的分手故事)

But midst of all I'm happy , sadly that's the only thing others fails to notice about me.

但在所有的一切中，我是快乐的，悲哀的是，这是别人唯一没有注意到的关于我的事情。

Meenakshi Sundaram, INFJ

I am 33 and I am single.

我今年33岁，单身。

1.Generally, People might think I have had multiple failed relationships, or a dosha in my horoscope, or some attitude problems, or having some physical disability or I am a Gay or I am a spiritual person, or maybe I don't open myself to people, as much as I should.

1 一般来说，人们可能会认为我有过多次失败的恋情，或者在我的星座里有什么能量，或者态度上有问题，或者身体上有残疾，或者我是同性恋，或者我没有像我应该做的那样对别人敞开心扉。

2.All my so called friends seem really bothered and might want to know the change in my relationship status(sooner or later). They would feel more curious about me than anything else in their life.

2 我所有所谓的朋友似乎都很替我操心，可能都想知道我的感情状态(迟早)的变化。他们会对我感到好奇，比他们生活中的任何事情都要多。

3.My relatives will constantly pester my parents about my marriage, and would ask for my birth chart(Horoscope), some may even go to the extent of suggesting remedies by asking me to go to this temple, fast for xyz days, perform rituals for Rahu/Ketu and so on.

3 我的亲戚们会不断地缠着我的父母，问我的生辰图(占星术)，有些人甚至会建议我去这个寺庙，斋戒三天，为拉胡人或基图人举行仪式等等。

4.Just because I am single(at this Age), I might most likely be perceived as Pervert or a Despo.

4 就因为我是单身(在这个年龄)，我很可能被认为是一个变态或绝望的人。

5.I might have to deliberately avoid family functions, or any public appearances/get together/social media presence only to avoid unnecessary questions being asked.

5 我可能不得不刻意回避家族活动，或在任何公开露面/聚会/社交媒体上出现，只是为了避免被问到不必要的问题。

6.I might feel awkward while travelling single all alone, or when I am forced to accompany a couple, or to places where I can see only Couples.

6 当我独自一人旅行时，或者当我被迫陪伴一对夫妇时，或者去只有夫妇去的地方时，我可能会感到尴尬。

Now the above were the likely situations which any single guy in 30's may have to go through in India.

以上是30多岁的单身男人在印度可能会遇到的情况。

Do I give a damn to what people think of me ?

我在乎别人怎么看我吗?

Do I give a damn to my relatives who keep bothering my parents again and again ?

我真的在乎那些不断骚扰我父母的亲戚吗?

The answer to the above questions is NO.

以上问题的答案是否定的。

I do not mind being single, and dying single, and have absolutely no regrets whatsoever, but I cannot overrule the fact that my parents are worried about me, they do not certainly want me to die alone(Although I want to).

我不介意单身，也不会后悔，但我不能否认我的父母担心我，他们肯定不希望我孤独地死去(尽管我是这么希望的)。

All I can do is to Pray God to keep my parents safe, hale and healthy forever, ever and ever.

我所能做的就是祈求上帝保佑我的父母永远、永远、健康、平安。

Thank You.

谢谢！

Versailles Thomas, Seeker, Listener, Observer, Investor, Advisor

Its alright… if you are thick skinned, saves you almost all the trouble. Since I have a reputation of being blunt, I am saved the usual harassment that most folks face from relatives or families.

如果你脸皮厚，几乎可以省去所有麻烦。由于我一贯直言不讳，我就避免了大多数人面对来自亲戚或家庭的骚扰。

The biggest change I have realised from my personal experience is that my friends circle has shrunk and even the ones I still have, are met seldom. I think the key is to keep yourself busy and take brave calls on doing things you want to do.

从我个人的经历中，我意识到最大的变化是我的朋友圈缩小了，即使是我的朋友，也很少见面。我认为关键是让自己忙起来，勇敢地去做你想做的事情。

Do I want to get married? Of course! I am reminded of it almost everyday when I see pics of my friends kids or their family vacations or anniversaries thanks to social media. But then wallowing in self pity does not help either!

我想结婚吗?当然!几乎每天当我看到朋友的照片，孩子的照片，家庭假期的照片，或者纪念日的照片时，我都会想起这些，这都要归功于社交媒体。但沉溺于自怜之中也无济于事!

So I just put my head down and work, go lift weights(brilliant stress buster for both men and women, highly recommended!!), read, watch documentaries…basically do an activity which either teaches me something or I am entertained.

所以我就低下头去工作，去举重(对男性和女性都是很好的减压方法，强烈推荐!!)，阅读，看纪录片…基本上就是做要么教我什么，要么让我开心的活动…

Rahul R, Technical Lead at Accel Frontline

Not 30, but 29 soon I will enter 30.

我还没到30，现在是29，很快我就会迈入30岁的门槛。

1.Feel the uncertenity of life

2.Thinking about what next in life.

3.That wedding and honeymoon pics of others don’t bother you much on Facebook.

4.Learned to live single and never depend on anyone.

5.Have so much time to work for parents and our society.

6.Free to take decisions.

7.You don’t feel aged, but kid call you uncle, and you don’t feel bad about it.

8.Plans in life were different, but replanning the life.

9.Answering the questions of relatives and friends.

10.All phone calls have the question “When you are going to marry”?

1。感受生命的不确定性

2。思考未来的生活。

3。在Facebook上，别人的婚礼和蜜月照片不会让你太烦恼。

4。学会单身生活，从不依赖任何人。

5。有许多的时间为父母和我们的社会工作。

6。自由作出决定。

7。你不会觉得自己老了，但孩子会叫你叔叔，你也不会为此感到难过。

8。人生的计划不同，但重新规划人生。

9。回答亲戚朋友的问题。

10。所有的电话都有“你什么时候结婚”的问题?

Anonymous

I am a 33 year old guy . I used to be engaged till recently to a girl whom I was dating for a while and almost got married, but things didn't work out. Anyway, to answer your question , it does get lonely sometimes, I wont deny. But I have had my share of relationships over the past decade or so. And i have learnt, sometimes the hard way, that it is much better to stay single and focus on your life , rather than get entangled in a relationship where you end up suffering. I am an avid reader and fitness enthusiast and I now have time to pursue both of these hobbies. I have a decent job and have close to a decade of professional experience so now I can think of pursuing some career enhancing skills. Now , in my 30’s I for sure know what I dont want from life - no bullshit, no sweet talk , no fake people. And maybe for others, parents might be nagging, but I stay with my parents like lot of other Indian guys and fortunately my parents are sort of cool.

我是一个33岁的男孩。我曾经和一个女孩订婚，我和她约会了一段时间，差点就结婚了，但是事情没有成功。无论如何，为了回答你的问题，我确实偶尔会觉得孤独，我不会否认。但在过去的十年里，我也有过一些恋爱经历。我也明白了，有时这是一种艰难的方式，那就是保持单身，专注于自己的生活，而不是纠缠在一段让你最终痛苦不堪的关系中。我是一个狂热的阅读者和健身爱好者，现在我有时间去追求这两个爱好。我有一份不错的工作，有近十年的专业经验，所以现在我可以考虑追求一些职业提升技能。现在，在我30多岁的时候，我肯定知道我不想从生活中得到什么——没有废话，没有甜言蜜语，没有虚假的人。也许对其他人来说，父母可能会唠叨，但我和我的父母呆在一起，就像其他很多印度人一样，幸运的是我的父母很酷。

Anonymous

My experience is quite different from everyone who has answered here.

我的经验和这里回答的每个人都很不一样。

I am 32, consider myself slightly successful, earning 50 LPA plus in India, senior tech leadership in a well known startup, graduated from a premier Indian engineering college. I would like to say that i look decently good- have a good physique- no six packs though. I hit the gym almost daily from the last 7–8 years and i had done few rookie modelling in fests etc.

我今年32岁，认为自己有点成功，在印度能赚到50万卢比以上的收入，在一家知名初创公司担任高级技术领导，毕业于印度一流的工程学院。我想说的是，我看起来很不错——有很好的体格——虽然没有六块腹肌。在过去的7-8年里，我几乎每天都去健身房，而且我还参加过一些新秀模特表演等等。

I attract a lot attention from women colleagues, freshers, 26–27 olds till married 40 year olds. I have been told that i am sweet talker as well, which i agree mostly, i am always polite and calm while talking to anyone professional or personal.

我吸引了很多女同事，新人，从26-27岁的人到40岁的已婚人士。有人告诉过我，我也很健谈，这一点我同意。我在与任何人进行专业领域或私人问题的交谈时，总是彬彬有礼、沉着冷静。

I dont have a steady relationship and i dont believe in one, i have had a lot of flings- with single, committed and married women in my life and it doesnt look like my age is coming between me and my flings. I have never entered into an emotional relationship with committed and married women though, i set the expectations straight if anything were to happen between us, it will be totally no strings attached and discreet. Some women opt out of it, some are in for it. There are friends i know, who are staying in different cities, countries and we dont even stay in touch, but whenever i travel or they travel- we meet- you know what i mean.

我没有稳定的感情，我也不相信感情，我有过很多风流韵事——在我的生活中，我和单身、订过婚、已婚的女人有过很多风流韵事。不过我从未与订过婚、已婚女性发生过感情纠葛，我对我们之间发生的任何事情都设定了明确的预期，那就是不带任何附加条件、非常谨慎。有些女性决定不参与，有些则决定参与。我认识一些朋友，他们住在不同的城市，不同的国家，我们甚至平常都不联系，但每当我旅行或他们旅行的时候——我们就会见面——你知道我的意思。

I dont feel guilty of what i am doing and yes, some of my friends hate me for what i do.

我不为我所做的感到内疚，是的，我的一些朋友憎恨我所做的。

Kanwalpal Singh Flora, knows Punjabi

I just turned 34. Am an Indian immigrated to USA and now US citizen.

我刚满34。我是移民到美国的印度人，现在是美国公民。

Starting at around age 25 till now I must have been asked literally 1000's of times when I am getting married. (By Indians). I am not exaggerating.

从25岁左右直到现在，我肯定被问过不下1000次何时结婚。(印度人问的)。我真的没有夸张。

As I age it seems to slowing down and I guess by the time I am 40 It should stop.

随着我年龄的增长，这种事情似乎在慢慢减少，我想当我40岁的时候，它应该会消停了吧。

Americans are usually easy going , been asked only few times by them.

美国人通常很随和，我只被他们问过几次。

On the other hand, many times I have been told I am lucky.

另一方面，很多次我被告知我很幸运。

Being male helps out but it's considered outrageous to be unmarried at this age in Indian culture.

身为男性的身份帮了我大忙，但在印度文化中，在这个年龄还没结婚被认为是令人无法容忍的。

I have seen the best marriage between my parents and I think that will be enough for me in this lifetime.

我在我父母之间看到了最好的婚姻，我想这辈子就足够了。

Anonymous

Let me show another perspective..

让我展示另一种观点…

Based on gay folks in their 30s in Bangalore..

基于班加罗尔30多岁的同性恋人群。

These folks are actually very confident because its not a small feat to avoid marriage even though you come out in front of your parents in India..

这些人实际上非常自信，因为即使你在印度的父母面前出现，要避免结婚也不是一件容易的事。

Most of these folks have quite a few hobbies which keeps them occupied and makes their life much more interesting when compared to folks in similar age group..

他们中的大多数人都有很多爱好，这些爱好让他们有事可做，与同龄的人相比，他们的生活更有趣。

Now coming to the relationship part, a lot of them do want that but its hard to get in today’s fast paced life where gay folks tend to look for instant gratification through online apps..

现在说到恋爱部分，他们中的很多人确实想要这样做，但在如今快节奏的生活中，同性恋者往往通过在线应用程序寻找即时的满足，这是很难做到的。

But few lucky ones do get their respective partner with whom they want to settle which again has its sets of problems..

但也有一些幸运的人确实找到了自己想要安定下来的另一半，不过对方又有自己的问题。

Ravi Anand, Good speaker and a lover of wisdom.

Being a man or woman, we reach at some point when we feel that it's the right time to full fill all the desires and fantasy.

作为一个男人或女人，我们会在某个时候觉得是时候去满足所有的欲望和幻想了。

My eldest Sister, she is going to get married after two months and before finalized a groom for her, we were so bewildered that what kind of person she likes the most.

我的大姐，她两个月后就要结婚了，在为她敲定新郎之前，我们都很困惑，她最喜欢什么样的人。

There was a time when i had a brawl with her for some family issues and then she angrily said then i do have some needs and wants which i would like to fill by getting married (you know what i mean here) This is the case when you have to get settle down, and now comes to another phase when you're single at 30.

有一段时间我因为一些家庭问题和她争吵，她气愤地说:我确实有需求的欲望，希望通过结婚填补(你知道我在说什么)。当你需要安定下来时是这样的，现在涉及到另一个阶段，就是你30岁时依然单身。

1.Relatives starts finding flaws in you. They thinks thay there might be something wrong with the girl.

1。亲戚们开始发现你的缺点。他们认为那个女孩可能有问题。

2. Everyone ask why you're single and sometimes it is very frustrated to give same answer to everyone.

2。每个人都问你为什么单身，有时对每个人重复同样的答案会让你很沮丧。

3.Orthodox Indian parents . Mothers starts taking stress because of their unmarried daughters.

3。正统的印度的父母，母亲们因为女儿未婚而开始承受压力。

4. Neighbors starts creating their own question and answer session.

4。邻居们开始编造他们自己的问答。

That's all for now but i am still figuring out some points.

这是目前为止我遇到的问题，但我仍在努力解决一些问题。