Anonymous

Today while scrolling my Quora feed I read the answer by Haribabu Thilakar. Usually I try to skip these types of topics. I feel extremely sad.

I'm from a Brahmin family of lower middle class.

I would like to share few events of my life....

I'm a secular person and don't discriminate but I can't even change my family...

今天，当我在Quora上浏览时，我读到了Haribabu Thilakar的答案。通常我会跳过这类话题。我感到非常难过。

我来自一个中产阶级下层的婆罗门家庭。

我想分享一些我生活中的事件....

我是一个世俗的人，不带歧视，但我连我的家庭都无法改变……

1.When I was in first std. I brought my SC friend home, till then I didn't know what was caste system and religion. My grandmother and mom gave her biscuits and snacks in a plastic plate and asked me not to eat in her plate. They asked her to sit on a chair not on sofa. My heart felt tearing assuming pain of my good friend. She never came to my house after that day.

2.One day one of my Muslim friend visited my house and my grandmother washed my house after she left.

1。当我第一次把我的SC朋友带回家时，才知道什么是种姓制度和宗教。我奶奶和妈妈把饼干和零食放在一个塑料盘子里，让我不要吃她盘子里的东西。他们让她坐在椅子上，而不是沙发上。一想到好朋友的痛苦，我的心就觉得很难过。从那以后，她再也没有来过我家。

2。有一天，我的一个msl朋友来我家做客，我的祖母在她离开后清洗了我的房子。

3.I was in 8th std and till this time ws ignorant about sub classes of Hinduism or various castes. We were travelling to Chennai where we met some people in black dresses. They said they were devotees. They gave "prasad"(holy eatables) to me and to others who were Brahmins and leaving and insulting the other castes people who were with us.

4.I went to college. There were many girls who didn't like to share their things, room or food with lower castes. I made many friends and that too without any caste discrimination.

5.Now even my mom don't like to share her plate with me because she knows that I used to share food with lower caste fellows.

3。我对印度教的分支或各种种姓一无所知。我们去金奈旅行，在那里我们遇到了一些穿着黑裙子的人。他们说他们是信徒。他们把“普拉萨德”(圣食)给了我和其他婆罗门，离开并侮辱了和我们通行的其他种姓的人。

4。我上大学了。有很多女孩不喜欢和低种姓的人共用自己的东西、房间或食物。我交了很多朋友，而且没有任何种姓歧视。

5。现在就连我妈妈也不喜欢和我分享她的盘子了，因为她知道我常和低种姓的人一起吃饭。

Now after all this events I have always searched the reasons for this discrimination. Some said the reservation system is the cause. Some said because they don't care about their hygiene. But me, I'm saying this is just our thinking. Our thinking is not so healthy or open that we can support any lower caste or other religion and treat them equally. I have always fought for the rights of poor trodden people and will fight for rights of womem. But I'm not a supporter of reservation system because  I believe that should be given on poverty basis.

The reservation by government is itself a proof that they are not equal. They need support to get where others can get easily. So they are also not trying to change their conditions. They don't rebel against the inequality done to them because the government itself have proven them weak by giving reservation.

Note:- Please neglect the spelling and grammatical mistakes.

在经历这些事件之后，我一直在寻找这种歧视的原因。一些人说预留制是原因。一些人说，因为他们不关心自己的卫生。但我，我是说这只是我们的想法。我们的思想并不健康开放，我们没有帮助任何低种姓或其他宗教，平等对待他们。我一直为被践踏的穷人的权利而战，也将为妇女的权利而战。但我不支持预留制度。

政府的预留制本身就是不平等的证明。他们需要别人的支持，才能获得别人可以轻松获得的东西。所以他们也没有试图改变他们的现状。他们不反对对他们造成的不平等，因为政府本身已经通过给予预留制证明了他们的软弱。

注意：请忽略拼写和语法错误。

Rajkumaran Malarvannan, Indian.. !! Engineer..!! Proud Tamizhian.. !!

So let me share some of my experiences I have faced during my school, college and work life. My mom and dad had inter caste marriage back in the 80s and I'm still proud of my family for that reason. I was just a normal kid and was good at studies to an extent. I got admit (merit as I had to compete with 20 other for one of the 3 seats) into a private school that was run by Brahmin community. I really did not feel any change in my classmates behavior towards me. I got to know my caste when i was about to give my SSLC exam and that created some problems. I asked my mom about caste and she was not really happy with that question and said she will let me know but asked me not to share this with anyone except the class teacher. I was not really sure about the issue and my caste details did seep into the ears of my class mates. During my HSE exam, some of my class mates casually pass comments saying that you dont need to study hard, its easy for you. You dont need to work hard and you can just prepare for 3 hours.

我来分享一些我在学校、大学和工作生活中遇到的经历。我的父母早在80年代就实现了跨种姓婚姻，因此我仍然为我的家庭感到自豪。我只是一个普通的孩子，在学习方面还算擅长。我被录取进入了一所私立学校，由婆罗门社区管理。我真的没有感觉到我的同学对我的行为有任何不同。当我准备参加SSLC考试时，我知道了我的种姓，对我产生了一些问题。我问我妈妈关于种姓的问题，她对这个问题不是很开心，她说她会告诉我，但让我不要和任何人说，除了班主任。我对这个问题不以为然，我的种姓无意间被同学们听到了。在我的HSE考试期间，我的一些同学漫不经心地对我说，你不需要努力学习，这对你来说很容易。你不用这么用功，你只需要准备3个小时就够了。

You'll get a seat in good engineering college etc..  I did score 88% in my HSE exam and had a good cut-off as well. One incident that I cannot forget - I was playing a game of cricket with some of my school mates during my college counselling they abused me with my caste (they did not even score as much as i did) saying my life was much easier than theirs', my close buddies had to come to my rescue. This made me feel really bad. I did choose a college which still had lot of seats left in other caste categories. Even in my college I faced similar issues. They would make fun of me and would bring the topic of caste based reservation especially when I am around. They would pass comments such as we have bad roads may be its a quota guy who did the inspection and cleared the bills. Not only me people from my similar background faced the same issue. Even some professors when they got to know about my caste (this was due to a data gathering done by the government) their behavior towards me and people from my community changed. I completed my degree with decent grades (83%).

你会在很棒的工程学院获得一席之地等等。我在HSE考试中得了88%的分数，成绩不错。有件事我不能忘记，大学辅导期间我和我的一些同学打板球，他们辱骂我和我的种姓(他们的得分都远不及我)说我的生活比他们的更容易，我的好朋友不得不出面替我解围。这让我感觉很糟糕。其实我选择的已经是一所为其他种姓类别提供了很多席位的大学。在我上大学期间，我也遇到过类似的问题。他们会取笑我，还会挑我在场的时候提出关于种姓预留制的话题。与我背景相似的人都面临着同样的问题。就连一些教授，当他们知道我的种姓(因为政府收集数据)时，他们对我和我所在社区的人的态度也发生了改变。我以不错的成绩(83%)完成了我的学位。

I felt may be they just abuse me because of the incentives that I am offered (I never used any). In one case my class mate tried to convert one of my friend from my same community into a Christian. My friend was having some financial issue and being from a Tamil medium school, he found it hard to cope up with engineering (he has completed his engineering now and working in B'lore). When he shared this incident with our class mates he was tagged a liar.  I did my XAT exam and scored 84%. I had admits from LIBA, IFMR, TAPMI based on my merit and interview (never used my caste certificate as XAT is a private exam). I made up my mind, came abroad and did my masters. Even here my class mates were keen on knowing my caste. I completed my Masters and got a job well before all of my class mates. I used to just smile and move on (they never got to know my caste). The most recent incident, I came back home for vacation and on my way back I had my seat beside an Indian - American.

我觉得他们可能只是因为我得到的奖励而辱骂我。有一次，我的同班同学试图把我同一个社区的朋友皈依为基督徒。我的朋友有一些财务问题，来自泰米尔一所中等学校，他发现工程学对他来说太难了(他现在已经完成了他的工程学课程，在B'lore工作)。当他把这件事告诉我们班的同学时，大家都认为他是个骗子。我参加了XAT考试，成绩为84%。我因为优点和面试被LIBA, IFMR, TAPMI录取(从未使用我的种姓证书，因为XAT是私人考试)。我下定决心，到国外修读硕士。即使在这里，我的同学也热衷于了解我的种姓。我完成了硕士学位，比所有同学都早获得了一份工作。我习惯了一笑而过，继续向前(他们从来都不知道我的种姓)。最近的一次事件是，我回家度假，在回家的路上，我坐在一个印度人旁边。

We had a good conversation and then he started asking about my family. Slowly he asked about my caste and background. I felt bad. Even after proving my abilities at school, college and grad school abroad, people still weigh me on my caste and background. I had my opened up some of the issues that I faced during my life so far. I look good to an extent, my career and education shows that I can compete with most of the people out there. Is it a curse that we bear for being from a certain community till the end our life and pass on to our next generation? 

我们聊得很开心，然后他开始问起我的家庭。他慢慢地问起我的种姓和背景。我觉得不舒服。即使在国外的中学、大学和研究生院证明了我的能力之后，人们仍然通过我的种姓和背景判断我。我已经公开了到目前为止，我在生活中遇到的一些问题。在某种程度上，我看起来不错，我的职业和教育使我能与大多数人竞争。这是一种诅咒，因为我们来自一个特定的社区，会持续到我们的生命结束，并传递给我们的下一代?

Anonymous

Making myself anonymous because I will be sharing my personal experience as well. Expecting several downvotes because of sharing numbers (which people generally hate), controversial views and personal experiences.

Firstly I’ll begin with some numbers (non-personal). There is a massive gap between the number of crimes committed by (supposedly) upper caste people on (supposedly) lower caste people, the number that is actually reported and the number that is actually filed as a ‘case’. One of my friends did some research on this and estimated the number of reported to be around 125 per day. A whop majority (don’t have the count, but a very rough estimate is around 5 per day) of these cases are thwarted right at the begng - FIR is not registered when it is supposed to be.

我选择匿名，因为我也想分享一下我的个人经历。由于我要分享的数据(这是人们普遍讨厌的)、有争议的观点和个人经历，我猜有一些人会给我差评。

首先，我会从一些数字(非个人的)开始。所谓的高种姓人与低种姓人所犯的罪行数量、实际上报的数量和实际作为“案件”立案的数量之间存在巨大差距。我的一个朋友对此做了一些研究，大概每天有大约125人见报。在这些案件中，绝大多数(没有统计，但粗略估计大约是每天5起)在一开始就遭到反对——在应该进行FIR登记的时候没有登记。

Although my view on reservation may be controversial, IMHO it is just an eyewash - a way to cover-up the blatant truth that the (supposedly) upper caste have an upper hand. Moreover, upper caste people are trained to procrastinate (if not avoid) any discussion on people like Vijay Mallya (just one of several thousand examples against one example of lower caste person getting away with a crime of enormous proportion). This is my personal opinion based on facts and data that I was exposed to.

Coming to my personal experience, it was (just another) example of inter-caste love that lasted 5 years (and still lasts in me). Spoiler alert: Unsuccessful!

尽管我对预留制的看法可能有争议，但恕我直言，这只是一种假象——一种掩盖上层种姓掌握大权的真相的方式。此外，上层种姓的人心照不宣地拖延(如果不能避免的话)任何关于维贾伊·马尔雅这样的人的讨论。这是我个人基于接触到的事实和数据而得出的观点。

以我个人的经验来看，这是(只是另一个)持续了5年的跨种姓爱情。在这里剧透一下:失败了!

Skip other personal details, it took that many years to convince my parents. Since things were building up smoothly on my side, I asked my (ex) lover to make a move. What my (ex) lover told me a shocking story which almost blew my head off: Spoiler alert: This sub-story is a success story:h

Belonging to the state with least literacy rate, only one of my (ex) lover’s parents were educated. (Ex) Lover’s elder sibling was in love with someone from her office of same caste, but different sub-caste. Elder sibling’s efforts to convince parents were thwarted several times. Finally the sibling was put on house arrest for several days with mobile phone confiscated. The lovers had a plan of action, stuck to it stubbornly (although it involved lies, deceit, etc), got (arranged) married and live happily now.

跳过其他个人细节，我花了很多年才说服父母。由于我这边的事情还算顺利，我请求我的(前任)恋人也采取行动。我的(前任)恋人给我讲了一个让我震惊的故事，我的头都要吓飞了。剧透：这是个成功的案例。

我来自于文盲率高的邦，我的(前任)恋人的父母中只有一人受过教育。(前)恋人的哥哥爱上了她办公室里的一个人，他的种姓和她一样，但细分种姓又有所不同。哥哥说服父母的努力多次受挫。最后，她哥哥被软禁了几天，被没收手机。这对恋人做了行动计划，固执地坚持着(尽管其中涉及了谎言、欺骗等)，最终结婚了，现在过着幸福的生活。

I belong to a caste that is few orders lower than that of my (ex) lover - I didn’t even know my caste till then. My (ex) lover told me that parents would go to the extent of murder if news about our love broke out. After listening to this, I was given two options: elope before 21st May 2016 or fail for good. After this long telephone conversation, I was reassured that my (ex) lover’s parents will not accept me and all the dreams we had together were just dreams.

Under extreme stress, during a period that was by far worse than average depression, I chose the second option for reasons I’ll never understand fully. The stress, the drowning feeling and the feeling of defeat in life have not gone away. IMO triumph in other aspects of life like career, sports, etc cannot replace a happy personal life.

我比我(前任)恋人的种姓低——在那之前我甚至不知道我的种姓。我(前任)的恋人告诉我，如果我们相爱的消息传开，父母们会发疯的。听完这些话后，她给了我两个选择:要么在2016年5月21日前私奔，要么就告吹。在漫长的电话交谈之后，我确信我(前任)恋人的父母不会接受我，我们想在一起只是奢望。

在极度高压下，我经历了一段比一般抑郁症严重得多的时期，最终选择了第二个选项，可原因我永远无法完全理解。这种压力、如溺水般的感觉和人生挫败的感觉并没有消失。我在如事业，体育等其他方面的成功，还是无法代替幸福的个人生活。