印度最具讽刺意味的那些事

Vibhor Pandhare, worked at Indian Institute of Technology, Bombay

Well, there isn't just one. Just like our population, every irony of India is big. In fact, more than being the world's largest de ocracy, we are more of the world's biggest irony.

这种事可不止一件。就像我们的人口一样，印度的每一个讽刺都是巨大的。事实上，我们不仅仅是世界上最大的民*国家，更是世界上最大的讽刺。

You may find a lot of answers for this question already, but here, I have tried to connect them at the right points and present it in the form of a poem. More than simply enjoying it, let us also try to acknowledge what it really wants to convey. Here we go:

India has a population of 1.25 billion and half of them are below 25;

Every fifth person walking on this planet is an Indian and yet the world says we Indians are shy!

We live in a nation, where the rice is at Rs. 40/- per kg but the SIM Card is free;

Here a pizza reaches home faster than an Ambulance or Police, whatever the case may be!

Everybody in India wants to be famous, but nobody wants to follow the bumpy path!

对于这个问题，你可能已经找到了很多答案，但在这里，我想把他们串起来，用诗歌的形式写出来。除了简单地欣赏，我们也试着想想这些事真正反映的意思。我们开始吧:

印度有12.5亿人口，其中一半不到25岁;

在这个星球上，每五个人中就有一个是印度人，然而全世界都说我们印度人很害羞!

我们生活在一个大米价格达到每公斤40卢比，但SIM卡却免费的国家;

在这里，无论什么时候，披萨都比救护车或警察更快到达家门口!

在印度，每个人都想出名，但没人想走崎岖不平的路!

Talking to strangers is instantly tagged as immoral, but it’s perfectly ‘Sanskaari’ to marry one;

Priyanka Chopra earns more money playing Mary Kom than Mary Kom can ever earn!

In India we do not cast our vote but we vote our caste;

Politicians divide us first, then terrorists unite us at last!

We live in a nation where the National animal is endangered, the national pledge is unintended and the national river is polluted;

In India, we are placed inside a cubicle and asked to think outside the box.

Moreover, we export 80000 students to USA each year, further knocking down our building blocks.

和陌生人说话马上就会被贴上淫荡的标签，但嫁给陌生人则完全没问题;

普里扬卡·乔普拉扮演玛丽·科姆挣的钱比玛丽·科姆一辈子挣的都多!

在印度，我们不是投票，而是投票给我们的种姓;

政客们分裂了我们，然后恐怖分子把我们团结起来!

我们生活的国度，国家动物濒临灭绝，国家的承诺没有意义，国家的河流被污染;

在印度，我们被框在一个个，却被要求跳出思维定势。

此外，我们每年向美国输送8万名学生，进一步摧毁了我们的基础设施。

We believe in spending more money on our daughter’s wedding than on her education;

At least passing the 8th grade is a must to run a village, but to run the entire nation we have't kept any qualification.

India ranks sixth in the number of billionaires in a country yet homes a third of the world’s extreme poor.

We frown on government buses, hospitals, schools but smile on a government job;

We live where rapists and murderers roam freely but a person who posts on social media is beaten up by the mob!

India has the second largest pool of scientists and engineers in the world but we rank 76th in the Global Innovation Index on date;

And we still believe in our horoscope even when 39 Indians are born every moment and 34 Lakh Indians share the same birthdate!

我们愿意花更多的钱在女儿的婚礼上，而不是在她的教育上;

至少完成八年级学业是管理一个村庄的必要条件，但对于管理整个国家的人，我们没有任何资格要求。

印度在亿万富翁的人数上排名第六，却拥有世界上三分之一的赤贫人口。

我们不赞成政府公共汽车、医院、学校，却对政府工作微笑;

在我们生活的地方，强奸犯和杀人犯到处游荡，而在社交媒体上发帖的人却遭到暴徒的毒打!

印度是世界上科学家和工程师人数第二多的国家，但我们在全球创新指数中仅排名第76位;

我们仍然相信我们的占星术，即使每一秒都有39个印度人出生，340万印度人的生日相同!

Responsibilities are transferred faster in India than a Whatsapp message in United States;

Half of the households here have a cell-phone but don’t have an access to toilets!

People, here, will protect their phones with a screen guard so that the display doesn't get broken;

But, mind you, they will never wear a helmet, even if the road below them is shaken!

In India a black cat can do what a red traffic light cannot;

We teach our daughters how to dress properly but never tell our sons what they should not!

在印度，责任转移的速度比Whatsapp消息在美国传递更快;

这里有一半的家庭有手机，但却没有厕所!

这里的人们会用屏幕保护贴来保护他们的手机，这样显示屏就不会坏了;

但是，请注意，就算脚底的路面在晃动，他们也永远不会戴头盔!

在印度，黑猫能做红灯做不到的事;

我们教我们的女儿如何穿着得体，但从不告诉我们的儿子他们不该穿什么!

Here, a beer company owner is rich; though we can live without beer;

But we can’t live without food, then why is the Indian farmer poor?

An Indian will look both ways before crossing the road even if it’s a one-way;

We invest a mere 0.6% of our GDP in research and expect our nation to grow;

But we forget that to enjoy the fruits there has to be plant, whose seeds we first need to sow!

But the biggest Irony is that, people are proud about being an Indian even though they themselves might not have contributed in a single act that makes them feel proud about it.

这里的啤酒公司老板很有钱；尽管我们没有啤酒也没关系;

但是既然我们没有食物就不能生存，为什么印度农民如此贫穷呢?

印度人在过马路前会朝两边都看看，即使是单行道;

我们在科研方面的投资仅占GDP的0.6%，还指望我们的国家能得到增长;

但我们忘记了，想要享受果实，必须先播种!

但最具讽刺意味的是，人们为自己是印度人而自豪，尽管他们可能从未参与过任何一项让他们感到自豪的活动。