How many Indian guys here have not asked for a dowry, and what were your reasons?

多少印度男人没有要嫁妆，理由呢？

Quora读者的评论：

Krishna Kumar, Principal Software Engineer at Nokia (2014-present)

Mine was an arranged marriage and I too did not take any dowry.

Usually when the girl's parents decide to go ahead, they talk with the Guy's parents and see what all need to be done. This would include the rituals and most importantly what do you expect in terms of money/gold/movable/immovable and what what they can do. I took up the initiative and told everybody in the group that I dont want anything. I also requested everybody not to talk about this. The girl's parents were adamant but I put my foot down and told them I do not want to hear this. My Mom and Dad also supported me and asked my in-laws to not think about all this.

I also told them that we will share the marriage expenses. Usually the bride side is the one who take care of all the expenses. They told me they want to take care of that fully as they have already planned for it. So I presented my side of the expenses as an investment towards the bride. That way she can use it when she wants to for whatever purposes she wants to (she actually wants to build a art studio with it in the future). After marriage, I was talking to my wifey and she told me, this single step of mine had etched a great impression of me on her. They are from a middle class background and my wifey saved 3-4 years of her income for her marriage expenses. She knows the value of money. When she too saw me contributing for the marriage she felt good. Even my inlaws felt good. A great foundation for a life time relationship made... with simple open minded steps like these.

We are now happily married and have a 2 year old brat. Both of us respect each other and fully believe in each other.

我的婚姻就是包办婚姻，我也没有索要任何嫁妆。

通常，当女孩的父母决定嫁女儿时，他们会和男孩的父母谈谈，看看需要做些什么。这包括仪式，最重要的是你对钱/金子/动产/不动产有什么要求，他们能做到什么程度。我主动跟大家提出，我什么都不想要。我也要求大家不要谈论这个问题。女孩的父母很固执，但我坚决反对，告诉他们我不想再听到这个话题。我的父母也支持我，并要求我的岳父母不要再操心这些事。

我还告诉他们，我们会分担结婚的费用。通常情况下，婚姻的费用是全部由新娘一方来支付的。他们告诉我，他们想负担这些费用，他们已经做好准备了。所以我拿出我这边亲友花费的钱，作为给新娘的资金。这样她就可以在需要的时候做任何她想做的事情(实际上她想在未来开立一个艺术工作室)。结婚后，我和妻子聊天，她告诉我，我的做法给她留下了深刻的印象。我太太出身中产阶级家庭，我妻子存了3-4年的收入来支付结婚的费用。她知道这些钱得来不易。当她看到我也在为婚礼做贡献时，她感觉很开心。我的岳父母也很满意。我们就用这种坦诚的方式，为我们之间相扶一生的亲密关系打下了良好的基础。

我们现在婚姻生活十分幸福，有一个2岁的孩子。我们彼此尊重，相互信任。

译文来源：三泰虎 http://www.santaihu.com/47147.html 译者：Joyceliu

Anonymous

Me.

I come from one of the most popular community known for giving and taking dowry. My sister faced loads of problem because of the dowry thing. She has been married for 20 years now. Still the demands are as it is. My dad spent close to 25 lac in her marriage and the demands never stopped. Extorting money from dad on one or other way was very common for my sister’s inlaws. imagine the ordeal that even after 15 years of marriage my brother in law borrowed 20 lacs from my dad and never returned and my dad never asked for the money. I was a silent spectator of this and decided that I will never accept a single penny in dowry or the old day extortion.

My experience:

Moved back to India from UK post my studies and couple of work experience after my dad passed away. I went for an arrange marriage again arranged my sister;s inlaws family. The greed was high on their heads and the bomb was exploded when I declared that I am not taking or accepting any dowry. My brother in law handed me a list of gifts which he expected from marriage including a car for himself(I know this was the limit).

Anyways, the marriage happened. I spent a fortune on the marriage. All expenses were shared by me even for the dinner hosted by girl’s family. Din’t took anything from bride’s family except one ring and watch(normal non branded ones - total worth below 10k Rs).

Plot Twist: I was slammed dowry case and extorted close to 1 cr by my wife and her bf, she stole all the jewellery and valuables from my house including my Mom’s You guessed it right my brother in law had a share in it.

I won the case of dowry though I spent 3 days behind bars (it’s a non bailable offence). But I was asked to pay over 30 lacs to her as maintenance after 4 years of legal battle. The amount was decided based on my current earnings. I had paid 25 lacs and will be paying remaining 5 on Aug 10.

PS: She stole jewellery worth 55 lacs, 4.5 lacs cash, valuable items like watches, cameras, 2 phones, few of my personal items within a month of marriage and eloped with her bf. Case was slammed on me even before I could realized where did she go.

My ideology was slapped right on my face.

Lesson learnt: It’s the people not the customs that are corrupt.

我。

我来自一个以赠予和索要嫁妆而出名的社区。因为嫁妆的事，我姐姐面临很多问题。她已经结婚20年了。但这种索取从没断过。我父亲为她的婚姻花费了近250万卢比，但对方的要求从未停止过。对我姐姐的婆家来说，以这样那样的方式向父亲索要钱财是再正常不过的事。想象一下，结婚15年，我的姐夫向我父亲借了200万卢比，从没还过钱，我父亲也从来没有跟他讨要过。我只是默默地旁观，我下定决心我永远不会接受哪怕一分钱的嫁妆或勒索。

我的经验:

在我父亲去世后，我从英国回到印度学习和工作。我姐姐的婆家帮我安排了包办婚姻。他们无比地贪婪，当我宣布我不要求、也不接受任何嫁妆时，我们之间的争执爆发了。我的姐夫给了我一张清单，上面列着他希望通过我的婚事拿到的礼物，包括给他自己的一辆车(我知道这就是导火索)。

最后，我还是结婚了。我为了婚礼花了一大笔钱。所有的费用我都一起分担，甚至包括女方请客的晚餐。我没有从新娘家里拿到任何东西，除了一枚戒指和一块手表(普通的无牌子的手表——总价值还不到1万卢比)。

剧情转折：我被我的妻子和她的男朋友狠狠用嫁妆敲诈了将近1千万卢比，她偷走了我家里所有的珠宝和贵重物品，包括我妈妈的东西。你猜得没错，我的姐夫也参与其中了。

我在监狱里呆了3天(不能保释)，但我还是打赢了嫁妆官司。我被检方要求向我妻子支付300多万作为4年法律诉讼期间的赡养费。这个金额是根据我目前的收入来定的。我已经支付了250万，将在8月10日支付剩余的50万。

我要补充一下：她偷走了价值550万的珠宝，45万的现金，名表、相机、2部手机等贵重物品，在婚后一个月内偷走了我的几件私人物品，然后和她的男朋友私奔了。我还没来得及意识到她去了哪里，就被起诉了。

我的三观被狠狠地羞辱了。

我从中汲取的教训是：堕落的是人而不是习俗。

Aparna Gopakumar, Blissfully married

When my marriage was fixed, my dad asked the groom's parents about what did they want. Being from an educated family, I was shocked to witness that and protested.

My mom hushed me.

Dad wanted to buy a flat for us to live after wedding. I was seething inside about this idea. Even though he's buying something for me, it had the tag of 'dowry'. But thankfully my future in-laws turned it down as they had already found a flat to buy. (My dad,living in another state of India, would've to shuttle few times for everything).

I was impressed. I had believed they will demand something. But instead they bought a flat for us. Dad, undeterred, asked my would-be whether he would like to have a car. He politely declined stating he already has a car. I teased him this was the chance and he could have got an Audi/Jaguar but he rejected.

Post this, I had a discussion with my parents, telling they shouldn't have asked them in the first place. The sad reality is, no matter how progressive we believe we are, we still follow caste, horoscope matching, family pedigree and dowry when it comes to arranged marriage. No dowry is a step forward. Hopefully in coming years, the other 'traditions' like this will be casted off.

当我的婚事定下来后，我爸爸问新郎的父母想要什么。作为一个受过良好教育的家庭，我震惊地目睹了这一切，并提出抗议。

我妈妈让我闭嘴。

爸爸想在婚礼后给我们买一套房子住。我其实很清楚。虽然他是给我买东西，但贴着“嫁妆”的标签。但幸运的是，我未来的公婆拒绝了，因为他们已经看好了一套公寓。(我父亲住在印度的另一个邦)。

我对此深刻印象。我曾以为他们会提出要求的。但是他们却给我们买了一套公寓。爸爸没有被吓倒，他问我的准公公是否想要一辆车。他婉言谢绝了，说他已经有车了。我开玩笑说，这是一个机会，他本可以得到一辆奥迪/捷豹，但他拒绝了。

在发表这个帖子时，我和我的父母进行了讨论，告诉他们一开始就不应该问这个问题。可悲的现实是，不管我们认为自己多么进步，在包办婚姻方面，我们仍然遵循种姓制度、星座匹配、家庭出身和嫁妆的这一套。没有嫁妆就是一种进步。希望在未来几年，这类“传统陋习”能被人们抛弃。

Deepak Vishwakarma, Happily married

I got married almost 6 years back. It was an arranged marriage.

I am a software engineer and my wife has studied till 8th standard only (and I am not ashamed of her).

My would be in-laws were worried because only few days were remaining for marriage and we had not asked for any dowry or gift yet. They were worried that we will ask for dowry from them on the day of marriage and if they would not be able to arrange money for it we would call off the marriage.

Just 3 days before marriage my would be brother in law called me and asked "Like every one you certainly must be having some wishes, can you please tell us so that we can arrange it for you".

I said "No I don't have any wishes and I don't want any thing".

He was surprised but still asked me "What is your favourite colour, you don't want anything but we still want to gift you a bike".

I said "No, I really don't want anything. And kindly don't waste your money on a bike, I even don't know how to ride one".

He kept on insisting and I had to tell them my favourite colour.

They really gifted me a bike which is lying uselessly in my home since last 6 years however my brother use it once in a while.

I did not ask for dowry because I have three sisters and I know how much difficult it is to find a decent family for them (who don't want any dowry).

我结婚快6年了，是父母包办的。

我是一名软件工程师，我的妻子只接受了8年的学校教育(我并不以她为耻)。

我的准岳父母当时挺担心的，因为还有几天就要结婚了，我们还没有提出任何嫁妆或礼物的要求。他们担心我们会在结婚当天向他们索要嫁妆，如果他们没办法准备好钱，我们就会取消婚礼。

就在婚礼前三天，我的准小舅子打电话给我，问我：“就像其他人一样，你肯定有一些愿望，你能不能跟我们说说，我们会帮你准备的。”

我说:“不，我没有任何愿望，我什么都不想要。”

他很惊讶，但还是问我:“你最喜欢什么颜色，虽然你什么都不想要，但我们还是想送你一辆自行车。”

我说:“不，我真的什么都不想要。请不要把钱浪费在自行车上，我连怎么骑车都不会。”

他穷追不舍，我不得不告诉他们我最喜欢的颜色。

他们真的送了我一辆自行车，6年来一直闲置在我家里，但我弟弟偶尔会骑一骑。

我没有索要嫁妆，因为我有三个姐妹，我知道为她们找一个好婆家(不要求嫁妆的)有多难。

Pawan Samanthri, Family means everything !!

Let me tell you my story !! Mine was arranged marriage and her parents came to my place 3 days before our engagement to know if we had any demands that they have to take care of. My dad looked at me since this discussion was already done within my family.

I told that everything is perfect between our families and bringing up this matter would ruin all of it. It would be dumb to ask for 3-4 lakhs worth of gold or cash which would be my 4-5 month salary !!! We mentioned that dowry thing was unnecessary and what they wanted to give their daughter was also none of our business to interfere in. I was happy that my mom and dad supported me in this.

I did end up getting 54 kgs of gold ( my pretty wifey !! ) and well till date the journey has been beautiful, I guess the bonding between families is lot more worth it than the gold or cash.

Most of all any girl would want to look up to a person with respect, whom she is going to marry and as guys it is up to us not to let them down !! they may be helpless and may not say anything because of shitty society but as literates guys should understand and work towards building a better society without DOWRY !!

我来跟你们说说我的故事吧!!我是父母包办的婚姻，妻子的父母在我们订婚前三天来我家，询问我们是否有什么要求需要他们来完成。我父亲看着我，因为我们家里已经对此讨论过了。

我说我们两家之间都很完美，非要提嫁妆就会毁了这一切。索要30 - 40万卢比的黄金或现金（价值我4-5个月工资），太愚蠢了!!我们说嫁妆没必要，他们想给他们的女儿什么，也跟我没关系。我很高兴我的父母在这件事上很支持我。

我最终获得了54公斤的黄金(我可爱的老婆!!)到目前为止，我们婚后的生活一直很美好，我想家庭之间的纽带比金子和金钱更有价值。

最重要的是，任何女孩都希望尊敬她的结婚对象，作为男人，我们不能让她们失望!!她们可能会无助，也可能会因为恶劣的社会环境闭口不谈，但作为受过教育的男人，我们应该理解并努力建设一个没有嫁妆的更好的社会!!

Nagarajan Srinivas

I am an Indian guy and I have not asked for any dowry when I married almost 3 decades back.

I married at a slightly late age of 34 due to personal reasons, and placed an ad in the Hindu seeking a bride. I was not very particular about caste, (though I must concede that I am married to a girl from the same caste, but I can assure you that my choice was in no way influenced by the caste factor) and then had an arranged marriage in a traditional way with the full participation of both our families and friends. During my very first meeting with the girl's parents, I had made it clear that I am not at all interested in dowry, and stuck to my stand throughout.

Reason: I honestly believed asking for or taking dowry is wrong. As simple as that. I remember telling my future mother in law at the very first meeting that I was looking for a life partner, and not a business partner.

PS: Ironically though, parents of many prospective brides became skeptical and even started suspecting my integrity, employment details, family background etc. just because I was not interested in dowry. Such was the prevalence of dowry practice in India even just three decades back.

我是一个印度人，30年前结婚时，就没有要求过任何嫁妆。

由于个人原因，我是34岁时才结婚的，结婚时间较晚，我在《印度教徒报》登了一则征婚广告。我不是很看重种姓(尽管我必须承认,我娶的是同一种姓的女孩,但我可以向你保证,我的选择跟种姓没关系)，然后我们举办了传统的包办婚礼，双方亲友全程参与。在我第一次跟女孩父母见面时，我就明确表示我对嫁妆一点都不感兴趣，并始终坚持自己的立场。

理由：我真的认为索要或接受嫁妆是错误的行为。就是这么简单。我记得在第一次见面时，我告诉未来的岳母，我是想寻找一个生活伴侣，而不是商业伙伴。

PS：讽刺的是，很多准新娘的父母仅仅因为我对嫁妆不感兴趣，就开始对我产生怀疑，甚至开始怀疑我的诚信、工作、家庭背景等等。这就是30年前嫁妆在印度盛行的原因。

Anonymous

I didn't ask for dowry and neither accepted any gifts from my in-laws (despite societal pressure). During my marriage, though we did exchange the necessary ritualistic token money (neg), but that token money amount depended upon the discretion of the giver. We didn't demand or set any minimal threshold amount for such 'neg'.

1.Mine was a love marriage. For me, my wife is the essential wealth that my in-laws gifted to me. She's gem of a person, kind, caring, considerate. I believe that if she's with me, I can gather enough wealth to fulfill my future responsibilities.

2.During my relationship, I had promised her that I wouldn't take dowry. So, me asking dowry would have been breaking my promise. Also, one of the reasons my wife fell in love with me was my love for moral values and my attempts to abide by them. Me taking dowry would have shown that I was essentially a hypocrite which I desperately try not to be.

3.My parents are awesome and they supported my decision. They themselves are against dowry system and they also didn't take any gifts from my in-laws. Though they faced stiff resistance from other people around us, but still they didn't budge.

4.My FIL has been working hard to fulfill the dreams of his children. As a sole earning member of the family, he has been performing his duties responsibly as a son, husband and a father. And that too while earning only modestly. I know how hard it's to earn money, and kee myself in his position made me realize that how much cruel I could be if I were to ask dowry from him. As he was against our relationship, me not taking dowry contributed to a better relationship between him and me.

我没有索要嫁妆，也没有接受岳家的任何礼物(尽管有社会压力)。在我的婚礼期间，虽然交换了必要的礼金，但礼金数额双方自己决定。我们没有对礼金提出任何数额的要求或最低金额。

1.我的婚姻是自由恋爱的婚姻。对我来说，我的妻子是我岳父母送给我的最重要的财富。她是个很好的人，善良、体贴、善解人意。我相信如果她和我在一起，我可以积累足够的财富来履行我未来的责任。

2.在恋爱期间，我答应过她我不会索要嫁妆。如果我索要嫁妆就违背了我的承诺。另外，我妻子爱上我的原因之一是我对道德价值的热爱及坚守。我索要嫁妆就说明我本质上是个伪君子，而我对此避之不及。

3.我的父母很棒，他们支持我的决定。他们自己也反对嫁妆制度，也没有接受我岳家的任何礼物。虽然他们面临着来自我们身边亲友的指责，但还是坚持不让步。

4.我的岳父为了实现他孩子们的梦想一直努力工作。作为家庭中唯一挣钱的人，他一直负责任地履行作为儿子、丈夫和父亲的职责。但是依然收入微薄。我知道挣钱有多不容易，我站在岳父的立场上设身处地，意识到，如果我向他索要嫁妆，是多残忍的事。因为他反对我们在一起，我不索要嫁妆也改善了我们之间的关系。

Rashmi Salokhe, Say no to dowry

Contrary to popular beliefs, my husband did not ask for dowry. Denied and fought against in fact.

Ours was mutual arranged marriage. Though we met through matrimony site and parents choice, it was instant click. But somehow I wanted to be really sure. He respected that and gave me time. We met for 3 months straight before deciding anything and then took it to our parents. (Uncommon in arranged marriages where groom sees bride at her home only once and marriage is decided)

When discussions took place, him and his family insisted on simple court marriage and reception with splitting all expenses. We happily admitted as we too wanted to go for court marriage.

Him and his family lifted hugh burden off me and my parents. My wedding was so simple, so quite, just few signs and we are done. I cannot tell you how relieved I'm to be saved from a torturous day of wedding rituals. Court marriage followed by simple, sweet reception and we were done. I felt enthusiastic rather than tired at the end of the day. He is amazing..

Question asks about reasons. Well his reasons being he thinks spending fortune on weddings is waste. Also he invested that money in decorating house for me (it was awesome surprise). He also spent a lot on honeymoon which he saved on wedding. It was best time of my life.

By simple gesture of not accepting dowry, car, bike, furniture, jewelry etc my husband has won my heart and my family's respect.

与大多数人的观念相反，我丈夫没有索要嫁妆。实际上他拒绝了嫁妆并为之抗争。

我们的婚姻是包办婚姻。虽然我们是通过征婚网站和父母安排认识的，但我们一见钟情。但我还是想确认清楚。他尊重我，给了我时间。我们相处了3个月才做出决定，然后通知了我们的父母。(这种情况在包办婚姻中很少见，新郎只在新娘家里见一次面，就定下婚事了)

在讨论婚事时，他和家人坚持婚礼和婚宴要简单，并分摊所有费用。我们高兴地承认，我们也想公证结婚。

他和他的家人减轻了我和我父母的负担。我的婚礼很简单，很安静。我都不知道该怎么跟你们说，可以从痛苦疲惫的婚礼仪式中解脱，我有多么地如释重负。公证结婚之后，是简单而温馨的婚宴。那天晚上婚礼结束时，我一点儿也不疲惫，反而充满热情。他真是太棒了。

有人问到原因。对此他的理由是他认为把钱花在婚礼上是一种浪费。他还把那笔钱用来为我装修房子(那可真是个很棒的惊喜)。他还用了不少婚礼省下的钱带我度蜜月，那是我一生中最美好的时光。

因为不索要嫁妆，汽车，自行车，家具，珠宝等的简单姿态，我的丈夫赢得了我的心以及我家人的尊重。

Abubacker Siddique, Physical Design Engineer at Microchip Technology

I am not married yet but let me share my views.

I won't ask for a dowry to my better half's family. It doesn't mean that they can't afford for the sake of their lovely daughter. After all, for every parent their daughter is their precious gift :D Okay !! Coming to the point : Why should they have to give dowry to you ?

Just think about the wedding night where she just stands in front of a person, her husband now whom is still a complete stranger to her. She doesn't know about him completely so yet, eventhow if she knew him for 2 months in courtship period.

She stands because she trusts us blindly. Yet we seek dowry (addressing to the entire men class).

It's difficult for a girl in this world to leave her parents (especially mom), but she has to leave all of sudden in fraction of seconds. No one can bare this sudden transition.

She has no choice other then quitting her parents. She has to adapt herself to the new family atmosphere.

Are we (boys) undergoing any such transition in our life. Yet we ask for a dowry !!!

She is the one who extends our family tree. Do you know ?? that she has to undergo a pain of pregnancy which is not even equivalent to the breaking of 1000 bones at a stroke. Can u ask for dowry for bearing that pain?

Don’t you think that we are the one who should give dowry?

On the contrary, I will get dowry from my better half :P But my dowry doesn't include any 2BHK flat, car, (100*8) grams gold blah blah .....

Mine will be the her good qualities and trust that she is going to have toward me forever .

我还没有结婚，但我想谈谈我的看法。

我不会向我另一半的家人索要嫁妆。这并不是说，他们付不起他们可爱女儿的嫁妆。毕竟，对于每一位家长来说，女儿都是珍贵的礼物。言归正传：他们为什么必须给你嫁妆?

想想新婚之夜，新娘站在一个人，也就是她的丈夫面前，对她而言丈夫还只是个陌生人。她还不完全了解他，即使她在求婚期间认识了两个月的时间。

她站在那里是因为她盲目地相信我们。可我们却想要她们的嫁妆(我是跟所有男人说的)。

在这个世界上，一个女孩很难离开她的父母(尤其是妈妈)，但是她不得不在几秒钟内突然离开。没有人能忍受这种突然的转变。

除了离开父母，她别无选择。她必须使自己适应新的家庭环境。

我们(男孩)在我们的生活中会经历这样的转变吗?我们居然还索要嫁妆!!

她是为我们的家谱开枝散叶的人。你知道吗?她必须承受怀孕的痛苦，这可比一下子折断1000根骨头还要痛。你能索要嫁妆来承受那种痛苦吗?

难道你不认为我们才是应该奉上嫁妆的人吗?

相反的是，我会从我的另一半那里得到嫁妆，但是我的嫁妆不包括任何公寓，汽车，(100*8)克黄金等等……

Kandarp Joshi, B-pharmacy from Pune, Maharashtra, India (2010)

One of my colleagues took a very nice step to teach lesson to his community. I am not mentioning names over here as it is a matter of privacy. He is from a community where dowry is very common. His parents gave a list of items to be given as a dowry to his in-laws before his marriage. He was strictly against dowry but everybody threatened him that "if he will interfere in this matter he will not be allowed to marry that girl". He liked the girl so much that he didn't want to loose her. So to avoid accepting dowry, before two days of arranged date of marriage he married the same girl in court.

He also informed the police about the dowry demands of his own family. The police gave warning to his family and community not to take dowry in future and also asked this friend of mine to inform them if he found anyone doing so.

Three years have passed now. He has formed a group in his village who keeps watch on this dowry system. If anyone is caught giving or accepting dowry they inform police immediately. They also organise street plays.

我的一个同事迈出了一大步，给他的社区上了一课。我不会在这里公开他的名字，因为这是隐私问题。他来自一个嫁妆风气盛行的社区。他的父母在他结婚前给了他岳父母一份嫁妆物品清单。他对此严词拒绝，但每个人都威胁他：“如果他干涉这件事，就不许他娶那个女孩。”他非常喜欢这个女孩，不想失去她。于是为了不收嫁妆，他在包办婚礼前两天在法庭上娶了同一位姑娘。

他还把自己家人的嫁妆要求告诉了警方。警察警告他的家人和社区以后不需索要嫁妆，并让我的这个朋友一旦发现有人这么做，就立刻通知警方。

三年过去了。他在村子里成立了一个组织，负责监督嫁妆制度。如果发现有人赠送或接受嫁妆，他们就立即通知警方。他们还组织了街头演出。

Pradeep Rao, Indian by birth and Indian by thought!!

This is the routine conversation between me and my parents for the last one year, mostly over phone!!

*******With Dad*****

Dad: Why don't you want to see that girl X, she is well educated and from a well settled family!!

Me: Okay, ask her to send me a friend request or me on WhatsApp!!

Dad: No, you know that it doesn't work that way, we have to go see the girl at her home!!

Me: No dad, I don't like it. I don't want to take their hospitality and say NO for any reasons. It is embarrassing for her and me as well.

******With Mom******

Mom: When do you want to get married son?? It is time, isn't it?? ( I am 26, not convinced with this argument yet!! )You won't get prospects later and there are not too many girls in our near relatives (or Caste specifically).

Me: (playfully) when I find a better girl and dad agrees to no dowry ;)

Mom: Not again!! He is only thinking for your future!!

Son: Do you guys think I can't make money myself??

Mom: No, but girls do have a right to share parents properties like boys do know?? ( twist in the tale these days )

Me: Mom did you have breakfast?? What are you planning for lunch??

( she will be carried away )

I'm not sure how long I can hold this:) I'm going to take a break from work and going for masters.. So it might continue for another two years. I'm serious about not taking dowry. Its going to be tough given the circumstances that the amount of dowry and the grandeur of the marriage is going to decide the worth and reputation of groom and his family :)

这是我和我父母过去一年的例行谈话，大部分是通过电话!!

我跟爸爸* * * * * * * * * * * *

爸爸：你为什么不见见那个叫X的女孩呢?她受过良好的教育，出身在一个富足的家庭。

我：好吧，让她给我发个好友请求，或者在WhatsApp上联系我吧!!

爸爸：不，你知道的，不是这么做的，我们得去她家见见那个女孩!!

我：不，爸爸，我不喜欢。我不想在接受他们的盛情款待后以任何理由拒绝他们。这会让我和她都很尴尬。

我跟妈妈* * * * * * * * * * * *

妈妈：儿子，你打算什么时候结婚?是时候了，不是吗?（我26岁的，对这个说法还不服气!）你以后会找不到对象，而且我们的近亲(尤其是种姓)里也没有太多的女孩。

我：(开玩笑地)等我找到一个更好的女孩，而且爸爸同意不要嫁妆的时候

妈妈：不可能! !你爸他是为了你的未来着想!!

儿子：你们觉得我自己赚不到钱吗?

妈妈：不，但是女孩也有和男孩一样分享父母财产的权利。(现在的人硬扯的理由)

我：妈妈，你吃早餐了吗?你午餐打算吃什么?

(她的注意力就会被我怕带跑了)

我不知道我还能撑多久。我得从职场中抽身休息一段时间，深造硕士学位。所以这种情况可能还会持续两年时间。我不要嫁妆是认真的。考虑到嫁妆的数量和婚礼的规模决定着新郎及其家庭的财产和名誉，这并非易事。