Do Indians abroad have any regret that they left India?

海外的印度人对离开印度有什么遗憾吗?

 Quora读者的评论：

Sandra French, Corporate story-teller, sharer of experiences

No - absolutely no regrets.

I’m from Mumbai, but now live in Auckland. I moved here six years ago, on my own, with no family in New Zealand. It was tough in the start, but now things are great.

*Disclaimer - I’m sharing my experience. I appreciate that others might have different experiences/opinions and I in no way am looking to diminish that.*

I left Mumbai for a number of reasons, but the most important was the absence of work-life balance. I was doing great in my career, a Group Head in a large media company - but that was pretty much all I had. Long work hours meant I barely had any time for friends outside of work, family, other interests or holidays that HR jokingly encouraged us not to take because ‘who has the time?’.

The stress was phenomenal - I worked 12–14 hour days, weekends, and never put my phones on silent.

My tip point came when I had to get my then boss to leave his little girl’s birthday party to help sort out a work issue at 10 pm. I realised that I would grow in my career, but it would not get better. I felt a lack of personal growth, even while I enjoyed professional growth over my seven year career in Mumbai.

So I left.

Six years on, I am extremely happy in NZ. I’m a permanent resident, not far from my citizenship. I have a great job in a wonderful organisation. I have friends from many different countries, whom I meet regularly. I’ve had the opportunity to follow my passions - learn a new language, travel, cook. And most importantly, I met and married an amazing man. We travelled back to Mumbai for our wedding and it was a wonderful experience.

不，绝对不后悔。

我来自孟买，但现在住在奥克兰。六年前，我独自搬到这里，没有家人在新西兰。一开始很艰难，但现在一切都很好。

*免责声明-我只是分享我的经历。别人可能有不同的经历/观点，我很欣赏，我绝不想削弱这一点。

我之所以离开孟买，有很多原因，但最重要的是工作和生活缺乏平衡。我在一家大型媒体公司担任集团主管，我的工作表现很好——但这就是我所拥有的一切。长时间的工作意味着，除了工作、家庭、其他兴趣爱好或假期，我几乎没有时间和朋友在一起。人力资源部门开玩笑地鼓励我们不要去度假，因为“谁有这个时间？”

压力太大了——我每天要工作12-14个小时，周末加班，从不敢把手机调成静音。

我的转折点来了，我不得不让我当时的老板从他小女儿的生日派对上离开，在晚上10点帮忙解决一个工作问题。我意识到我会在我的职业生涯中成长，但情况不会好转。尽管在孟买的7年职业生涯中，我享受着职业上的上升，但我感到我个人得不到成长。

所以我离开了。

六年过去了，我在新西兰非常快乐。我是永久居民，离获得国籍也不远了。我在一个很棒的组织里有一份很棒的工作。我有很多来自不同国家的朋友，我经常和他们见面。我有机会释放我的激情——学习一门新的语言，旅行，烹饪。最重要的是，我遇到并嫁给了一个了不起的男人。我们回到孟买参加婚礼，这是一次美妙的经历。

I miss my family very much, but Auckland is home now and I would not change it for the world :)

Ps - the boss I mentioned earlier? He and his lovely family are happily settled in Australia :)

Added:

Thanks for all the upvotes, it’s lovely to see my answer resonated with so many :)

For all the positive comments - thank you for your good wishes. I really appreciate it.

For all the negative comments - in the wise words of Taylor Swift, haters gonna hate ;) No love lost though, you’re entitled to your opinion, as I am to mine!

Also, I have received a number of messages on Facebook Messenger asking for career advice, advice on moving to NZ, jobs in NZ and the like. Firstly, thank you for your messages. However, I must respectfully decline answering them since I am not qualified to give advice, especially on immigration matters.

译文来源：三泰虎 http://www.santaihu.com/47864.html  译者：Joyceliu

我非常想念我的家人，但是现在奥克兰是我的家，我不会因为任何事情而改变这一事实。

PS：我之前提到的老板？他和他可爱的家人幸福地定居在澳大利亚。

补充道:

谢谢大家的支持，很高兴看到我的回答引起了这么多人的共鸣。

感谢所有善意的评论—谢谢你们的良好祝愿。我真的很感激。

对于所有的负面评论—用泰勒·斯威夫特的名言来说，憎恨者只会憎恨；他们无爱可失，你有权发表你的意见，就像我有权发表我的意见一样！

此外，我在Facebook Messenger上收到了许多询问职业建议、关于搬到新西兰、在新西兰工作等方面的建议。首先感谢您的留言。但是我必须恭敬地拒绝回答这些问题，因为我没有资格提出建议，特别是在移民问题上。

Anonymous

I am writing this based on my own experience. I may be biased because it is solely based on my own experience and views.

I moved to USA after my marriage which was an arranged marriage. Myself and my wife didn’t have any close relatives living in USA. It is mostly my friends. My wife didn’t finish her college degree (Bachelors) at the time of marriage and she didn’t have any ambition to pursue higher studies or employment in USA. I was earning well to manage a decent living. Hence I didn’t have any support from my wife economically. We had a child who was born in USA. Even though we didn’t have any relatives living in USA, there was a greater influence from her parents through phone. They were dictating every day of our life including when to have a child etc. It was a very disturbing to me all along. I thought there would be issues when we have in-laws living with us in India. But I had the same influence from her parents all along. They questioned why I am sending money to my elderly parents in India for their support. They were too nosy all along the marriage. Also my wife started gossi with other neighbors and my friends. Hence I thought it will be better if she goes to work since my son started going to school. I got her driving license even though she was not interested. She started working in a school when my son was in school. It was a minimum wage job without much help to household expenses. She didn’t spend a dime of that for any household expenses. She still started continuing her gossip in the school and started rumor about me as I am the bad guy based on her instructions from her parents. Her parents called her at school and started giving instructions. She started becoming violent towards me and child. At this time she acquired citizenship through me. I was pushed to file a divorce just for the safety of my child and myself. She took all the money and valuables from the home and left the country when I was not at home. I took my son to doctor at that time since he was not well. The divorce was finalized in the court. After the divorce was finalized in the US Court, she came back from India and started another drama. She pretended that she didn’t know the divorce all along. She went to each and every neighbor here in US and cried foul and said she didn’t know. All Indian community gossip circle worked overtime and they started fighting for the rights of “innocent” Indian women without knowing the other side of the story. She alienated myself and my child from so called friends. They started giving idea to her how to extract money from me. The case was reopened. But the court saw through the lies and gave a fair judgement. With the money she extracted from me, she brought her parents and her siblings family. She willingly gave up the custody of the child to me. Even the judge in USA asked her whether she didn’t want any custody or parenting time of the child. Her answer is big “NO” and I want only money. Then at the request of her parents and Indian friends here, she went to India to file another false case to get more money. This is continuing for last 7 years now. I am taking care of my son as single dad for last 7 years without any help. In the process, I lost both my parents since her parents continuously harassed them through false cases and charges.

这篇文章是基于我自己的经历而写的。可能会带有偏见，因为这完全是基于我自己的经验和观点。

我结婚后搬到了美国，我和妻子是包办婚姻。我和妻子在美国没有任何近亲。只有我的几个朋友。我的妻子在结婚时尚未完成大学学位(学士学位)，她没有任何在美国深造或就业的野心。我的收入很高，可以维持体面的生活。因此，我在经济上没有得到妻子的任何支持。我们有一个孩子出生在美国。尽管我们在美国没有亲戚，但是她的父母通过电话对我们施加了很大的影响。他们支配着我们生活的每一天，包括什么时候生孩子等等。这一直让我很困扰。我想如果岳父母和我们一起住在印度的话，会有大问题的。岳父母问我为什么要寄钱给我在印度的年迈父母，赡养他们。他们真是太爱管闲事了。此外，我的妻子开始与其他邻居以及我的朋友八卦。因此，我想，如果我儿子上学后，她能去工作那是最好不过了。尽管她不感兴趣，我还是拿走了她的驾照。我儿子开始上学后，她开始在学校工作。这份工作只有最低工资水平，对家庭开支没有多大助益。她一分钱也没花在家庭开支上。她还是开始在学校里继续聊八卦，并且被她父母洗脑，说我是坏人。她开始对我和孩子实施暴力。在这个时候，她通过我获得了美国公民身份。为了我和孩子的安全，我被迫提出离婚。她把家里所有的钱和贵重物品都拿走了，趁我不在家的时候离开了这个国家。那时我因为儿子身体不适，带儿子去看医生。离婚申请在法庭上定案了。美国法院确定离婚后，她从印度回来，又开始闹起来。她一直假装不知道离婚的事。她跑到我们这里的每一个邻居那里撒泼，说她对离婚一无所知。所有的印度社区八卦圈毫不知情，开始为“无辜”印度妇女的权利而战。她让我和孩子跟朋友疏远了。他们开始给她出主意，教她如何从我这里榨取钱财。案件重新审理。但法院识破了谎言，作出了公正的判决。用她从我身上榨取的钱，她把她的父母和兄弟姐妹都带来了美国。她自愿把孩子的监护权交给我。就连美国的法官也问她是不是真的不想要孩子的抚养权或探视时间。她的回答是“不，我只想要钱”。然后，在她父母和印度朋友的要求下，她去了印度，提出了另一个虚假指控，期望能从我身上敲诈到更多的钱。这种情况已经持续了7年。我在没有任何帮助的情况下，以单身父亲的身份照顾儿子已经7年了。在这个过程中，我失去了我的父母，因为她父母不断地通过虚假指控骚扰他们。

I am sorry for long story. To the question here, I regret moving to US. Since NRI bridegrooms are targeted as money growing trees and abused by Indian women. They are coming here solely to take advantage of the green card and citizenship and dump the husbands. In the process, my son has lost his mother even though she doesn’t have any emotional bond with him. I lost my mother and father due to these ill design s of the women. Now I can’t even go back to India since I don’t have any close relatives there after living in this country for 21 years. I am fighting legal battles both in US and India single handedly.

我很抱歉，我洋洋洒洒写了这么一大篇。针对这个问题，我很后悔搬到美国。因为海外印度侨民的新郎被印度妇女当成摇钱树。她们来这里完全是为了利用我们获得绿卡和公民身份，然后就甩开丈夫。在这个过程中，我的儿子失去了他的母亲，尽管她和他没有任何情感上的联系。我失去了我的父母，因为这个女人的不良居心。现在我都回不了印度，因为在这个国家生活了21年之后，我在印度已经没有任何近亲了。我正单枪匹马在美国和印度打法律战。

Rohan Kamath, Foodie, Birder, Nerd, Student Forever

YES! Absolutely!

Okay, hear me out before you judge. Jeez!

Imagine this; you skewer some juicy spice marinated chicken that spent the night in a bath of creamy yogurt, chilies and spices, ginger, garlic and lemon juice; now dunk it into the hot coal tandoor; it comes out beautifully charred on the edges, a slight bite to the outside but succulent and bursting with flavor on the inside. You then take these perfectly bite sized pieces of chicken and toss them in an exquisitely balanced sauce with spices that leave your olfactory senses jum for joy, beautifully luscious and silky smooth with that hint of cream, the delight of butter and a finger licking base of slowly sautéed onions, tomatoes and herbs. I present to you, India’s very own immaculate BUTTER CHICKEN.

是的！绝对后悔！

好吧，听我说完再做判断。呀!

想象一下；你烤了一些多汁的香料腌制的鸡肉，这些鸡肉在奶油酸奶、辣椒和香料、姜、大蒜和柠檬汁中浸泡了一夜；现在把它放进热煤泥炉里；鸡肉的边缘被烤得很漂亮，在外面轻轻咬一口，里面多汁，风味十足。然后把这些完美的一小片一小片的鸡肉蘸上略带辣味的酱汁，让你的嗅觉闻之起舞，香气丝滑的奶油，黄油和令人舔指的炒洋葱，西红柿和草药。容我向你们展示印度自己完美的奶油鸡。

Now imagine walking into a restaurant after a long hard day hiking in the mountains and craving that amazing sensation we just talked about. You just want to dig in and feel complete again. You hope to be taken back to those Delhi streets, those Mumbai back-alleys; you just want that feeling again; because you’re aching and exhausted but still feeling great about yourself and you’ve earned that treat.

And then, the server brings you the mother of all disappointments; this bowl of pale food colored cream crap with giant chunks of over-boiled chicken that puts even the worst tomato soups to shame; “Sir, your Chicken Tikka Masala”.

现在想象一下，在经历了漫长而艰苦的一天登山旅行后，走进一家餐厅，渴望品尝到我们刚才谈到的那种美妙的滋味。你只想要全身心投入，重新找回完整的感觉。你希望被带回德里的街道，孟买的小巷；你只想要那种感觉；因为你感到身体上的疼痛和疲惫，但自己感觉依然不错，这是你应得的。

然后，服务员给你带来了失望之母；这碗淡色的奶油色食物，配上大块煮过头的鸡肉，连最难吃的西红柿汤都相形见绌；“先生，这是您点的咖喱鸡”。

Do Indians abroad have any regret that they left India?

YES! Absolutely! After eating that abomination, who wouldn’t? Sheesh, that’s disgusting.

But yeah, other than that, not really.

海外的印度人对他们离开印度感到后悔吗？

是的！绝对会后悔！在品尝过那恶心的东西后，谁不后悔呢？天哪，简直太恶心了。

但除此之外，并不会太后悔。

1.People by and large mind their own business and don’t poke their noses into yours. You have meaningful conversations over hikes, board games and dinners about thoughts and ideas rather than about other people. Students and colleagues are brilliant and always pushing themselves to excel; this rubs off on you and you automatically raise your bar.

2.You have the absolute freedom to do and say as you please; to take full control of your life and make decisions without society pressuring or judging you. You own your decisions and are the master of your own fate; both success and failure will hold you responsible for your choices.

3.If you’re in the tech sector and are willing to work hard, you get the opportunities to work on some of the most cutting edge technology that changes the world; you really do make a difference in people’s lives. Career paths are mostly meritocratic and there’s not much room for office politics until you climb up to certain rungs. Work ethics and culture is so strong; everyone is working towards collectively succeeding as a team, org, company, industry. There is no crab mentality.

4.The pay is great, you are rewarded well for your hard work, you can save and invest well even after living quite comfortably. You do not go around looking for loopholes to evade taxes because the government takes care of you with those taxes paid. You have infrastructure, roads, water, electricity, security, social and economic justice and many more things always available to you; so much so that locals grew up taking these things for granted but as an Indian who moved here, you tend to value them more because you’ve most likely seen life without these.

5.You miss your friends and family back home; you slowly grow accustomed to birthdays, anniversaries, weddings and other important life events over FaceTime and Skype. Whatsapp becomes a lifeline to remain connected. Lives move on and bonds weaken with distance and time. You make new friends but it’s never the same. Visa issues often leave you stuck and stranded in uncertainty; you have travel restrictions and at times can’t be there for your near and dear when they need you the most. There’s a price to pay; no good thing comes free; but if you’re willing to pay it, by and large it is worth the tradeoff.

1.总的来说，人们只关心他们自己的事，不会干涉你的事。你们在远足、棋类游戏和晚餐上进行有意义的交谈，谈论的是想法和创意，而不是其他人。学生和同事都很聪明，总是努力让自己出类拔萃；这会影响到你，你会自然而然地提高自己。

2.你有绝对的行事及说活的自由，完全掌控自己的生活，在不受社会压力或评判的情况下做出决定。你拥有自己的决定，是自己命运的主人；成功和失败都会让你对自己的选择负责。

3.如果你在科技行业工作，并且愿意努力工作，你就有机会从事一些能够改变世界的最前沿技术；你真的能改变人们的生活。职业道路大多是精英主义的，在你晋升到某个级别之前，不会有太多办公室政治。职业道德与文化是如此之强；每个人都在为团队、组织、公司、行业的集体成功而努力。没有螃蟹心态。

4.工资很高，你的努力工作得到了很好的回报，在满足舒适生活之后，你还可以很好地储蓄和投资。你不会到处寻找漏洞来逃税，因为政府会用你缴纳的税款来照顾你。你们有基础设施、道路、水、电、安全、社会和经济正义，还有更多你们随时可以得到的东西；所以当地人在成长过程中都认为这些东西是理所当然的，但作为一个搬到这里来的印度人，你往往更珍视它们，因为你很可能见过没有这些东西的生活。

5.你想念家乡的朋友和家人；你会慢慢习惯通过FaceTime和Skype来庆祝生日、纪念日、婚礼和其他重要的生活事件。Whatsapp成为保持联系的生命线。随着距离和时间的推移，生活在继续，纽带也在减弱。你交了新朋友，但一切都不一样了。签证问题常常让你陷入不确定的境地；你有旅行限制，有时不能在你的至亲至爱最需要你的时候出现在他们面前。这是要付出代价的；没有免费的馅饼；但如果你愿意付出，总的来说，这是值得的。

7 years and counting at the place I now call HOME.

我在这个我称之为家的地方生活了7年，而且还会继续在此生活下去。

Gurucharan Acharya, Indian expat in Japan

I live in Japan and I don’t regret that i left India, but I definitely miss India.

I list some of the points to explain why i don’t regret.

我住在日本，我不后悔离开印度，但我当然会想念印度。

我列出了一些原因来解释我为什么不后悔。

1.Everyone follow the rules on the road here, they give utmost importance to the pedestrian safety. In India the moment you walk on the road someone will kill you with their vehicle. Just look at the road accident statistics.Road Safety: What India Can Learn From Other Countries | Features

2.You wil never fall sick here by drinking restaurant water, Do i need to talk about India?

3.Streets are so clean there is hardly any mosquitoes here, no fear of Malaria and Dengue. Again in India , i wont talk about that.

4.I can send my 5 year old daughter to school without constantly freaking out about her well being. In India a kid will die under her/his own school bus.

5.Whether you are politician or tax driver everyone gets the same treatment here. In India if you come in Audi you can skip all the ques.

6.You can’t differentiate between government hospital and private hospital here.

7.People compete here to admit their kids into muncipal schools here, I am an engineer i send my daughter to government school here.

8.You dont find a single pot hole on the road even in the country side, even there is one they fill it up within hours. In india 100 people die in the potholes government dont give F*** about that.

9.Almost every girl wear super short skirts here in summer and they safely travel on trains and buses, no one tries to touch them. In india even if you wear full jeans they will molest her or tag her as slut.

1.这里的每个人都遵守交通规则，他们把行人的安全放在首位。在印度，当你走在路上时，有人会用他们的车来杀掉你。看看交通事故统计数据就知道了。道路安全：印度可以从其他国家学习什么。

2.在这儿，你永远不会因为喝了餐馆的水而生病，我还需要对比一下印度吗？

3.这里的街道非常干净，几乎没有蚊子，没有疟疾和登革热的威胁。印度么，我就不说了。

4.我送我5岁的女儿去上学，不用担心她的安全。在印度，孩子有可能死在自己学校的校车下。

5.无论你是政客还是出租车司机，在这里每个人都受到同样的待遇。在印度，如果你开奥迪，你就牛大了。

6.你在这里分不清公立医院和私立医院。

7.这里的人让他们的孩子进入公立学校，我是一名工程师，我把我的女儿送到公立学校。

8.即使在乡下，你也不会在路上发现坑，即使有坑，他们也会在几个小时内把它填平。在印度，就算已经有100人死于道路坑洼，政府也毫不在意。

9.这里几乎每个女孩夏天都穿超短裙，她们安全地乘坐火车和公共汽车，没有人试图碰她们。在印度，即使女孩穿牛仔裤，他们也会骚扰她，或者给她贴上荡妇的标签。

See i am only putting down points to defend why i don’t regret leaving India. You may argue Japan is developed country they have money they do it. I will ask you do you need money to stop littering the streets or spitting on the streets which eventually breeds mosquitoes?. Do you need money respect the short skirt girl in the bus?. Do you need money to treat every human being same?. Do you need money to drive properly on the road and not to kill another person?. Do you need money to stop your bus when a kid is crossing road to reach it’s home?.

It is the culture of the country and the people which makes them great not the money.

PS : Thanks for all your comments. Just to support the discussion i am attaching some pic i took last year on the way to my office here in Japan. I couldn't believe my eyes , they are employees , when they come to office in the morning they go out to pick any dirt on the street infront of their office building. Though there is hardly anything to pick, I watched closely what they would be picking, they were picking cigarette buds and rotten leaves and flowers of the tree. Absolutely amazing people and the country.

看起来我只是在为自己不后悔离开印度而辩解。你可能会说日本是发达国家，他们有钱，所以他们做到了。那么我来问问你，你需要钱不再在大街上乱扔垃圾或随地吐痰，让这些污物滋生蚊子吗？你需要钱来尊重公车上穿短裙的女孩吗？你需要钱来平等对待每一个人吗？你需要钱在路上好好驾驶，不撞死人吗？当一个小孩过马路时，你需要钱才肯把车停下来吗？

让他们变得伟大的是这个国家的文化和人民，而不是金钱。

PS：谢谢你的评论。为了支持讨论，我附上了一些我去年在去日本办公室的路上拍的照片。我不敢相信我的眼睛，他们是公司雇员，当他们早上来办公室的时候，他们会出去捡办公楼前街道上的脏东西。尽管没有什么可捡的，我仔细地观察着他们，发现他们捡的是烟蒂、腐烂的树叶和花朵。日本这个国家和日本人民绝对是了不起的。

You can see my shadow wearing a laptop backpack.

你可以看到我的影子，身上还背着笔记本背包。

Vidhu Neelam, Chief Instructor (Hindi-Urdu Languages) at University of Colorado Boulder (2017-present)

We (my wife and I) have NONE.

We visit India during two and half months of summer (15 May-August) to be with the family and near and dear ones; and that is enough. We only stay in our home town Varanasi, visit our village nearby (100 miles) and stay holed up with the family members.

I don’t earn much in America (a Hindi-Urdu language instructor at CU, Boulder), my wife does not have permission to work but that is fine.

Over the years, we have earned loads of loving friends in America—none of them of Indian origin. We feel very much at home here, feel cared for and loved by all. It may be my profession: ex students become friends and remain so.

This is not to say we do not love our motherland India. We profoundly do.

However, during the past one decade or so, we have felt that our compatriots in India have become way too materialistic, egoistic and ingoistic. I respect their intelligence and hard work (well, those who do work hard); but the corruption, greed and very large and very high noses that people have acquired since the opening of the economy make us recoil in horror. The abject apathy of the doctors, careless and intimidating way the people drive their cars (I will overtake you no matter who gets killed) make us pine for the good old days when people were poorer ..and much better.

Sorry to be so candid. I do not want to hurt feelings, but also do not care for negative comments and down-votes.

我们(我妻子和我)一点也不后悔。

我们在夏季的两个半月里(5月15日至8月)回印度与家人和亲人团聚；这就够了。我们只呆在我们的家乡瓦拉纳西，在附近的村庄(100英里)走动，和家人呆在一起。

我在美国挣的钱不多(在博尔德的科罗拉多大学教授印地语和乌尔都语)，我妻子没有工作许可，但这没关系。

多年来，我们在美国赢得了许多亲密的朋友——没有一个是印度裔。我们在这里感到非常自在，受到大家的关心和爱护。这可能是因为我的职业：以前的学生成为了朋友，并一直保持这种关系。

这并不是说我们不爱我们的祖国印度。我们深深地热爱祖国。

但在过去十年左右的时间里，我们感到，我们的印度同胞变得过于唯物主义、利己主义和沙文主义。我尊重他们的智慧和勤奋(嗯，那些努力工作的人)；但是，自从经济开放以来，人们变得腐败、贪婪，这让我们感到恐惧。医生们冷漠无情，人们开车时粗心大意、咄咄逼人(不管谁得送命，我都要超过你)让我们怀念过去人们没钱时的好时光。

很抱歉我说的这么坦率。我不想伤害看客的感情，也不在乎负面评论和差评。

继续阅读：印度人   遗憾   印度

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