My husband will soon start working for a Chinese company. He is concerned about social gaffes or offensive things he may say or do as a result of ignorance of Chinese culture. What are the most common mistakes made by foreigners?

我丈夫不久将开始为一家中国公司工作。因为不了解中国文化，他担心自己可能会说一些或做一些有失礼仪的事情。外国人最常犯什么错？

以下是Quora读者的评论：

John Yorkish

Overall the Chinese are very forgiving to foreigners. They have a social code to treat guests well and see all foreigners as guests in the country. Some locals get annoyed at that so don't push it.

Be understanding, depending where he works, he gets fooled into thinking it's the same as back home. To be fair a lot of things are similar but every now and then he will come across something that doesn't make sense. It's just stupid. Who would do something like that. At these moments he needs to take a breath, step back and realise that he's just had a China moment. The Chinese have their own culture and social norms, some things they just see differently and us as foreigners are seen as the weird ones. Just be understanding that some things are taken differently

Be respectful, in addition to the previous point, be respectful to the local culture. If you don't feel comfortable you don't have to join in but don't negatively judge them because they are different. They do try to be accommodating to us and our way of life so please be respectful of theirs

总的来说，中国人对外国人很包容。他们的社会准则就是善待客人，把所有的外国人都被视为这个国家的客人。一些当地人对此很恼火，所以不要太过分。

你要试着理解，这取决于他在哪里工作，他会误认为和在家里是一样的。公平地说，很多事情都差不多，但也会遇到一些不太合理的事。这简直太蠢了。谁会做那样的事。遇到这种情况，他需要深呼吸，退后一步，认识到自己刚刚经历了一个具有中国特色的时刻。中国人有自己的文化和社会规范，他们对一些事情有不同的看法，而我们作为外国人却被视为奇怪的人。你只需理解有些事情不一样就行。

除了刚才说的那一点之外，还要尊重当地文化。如果你觉得不舒服，你不必融入，但不要消极地评论他们，因为他们跟你不一样。他们确实努力包容我们和我们的生活方式，所以请尊重他们。

As for social gaffs.

The person who invites pays the bill. This is a social norm foreigners mess up. When they invite you normally they will treat you. The idea is that next time you treat them.

至于社交失礼。

提出邀请的人要买单。这是外国人会犯晕的社会规范。当他们邀请你时，他们通常会请客。所以，下次换你招待他们。

Bosses are important. There is a ‘face’ culture here, all about respect and appearance. Drinking and smoking are normal, especially during meals which are social and business events at the same time. They will probably try to see how much your husband can drink. (although for me, one time the group was worried I could not handle the Chinese wine but I did OK and they were impressed) if your husband smokes, offering a cigarette is polite. If he doesn't, they are becoming more used to people not smoking

One thing all Chinese have in common is the idea of love of country and that this is China, all of it together. They are sick of hearing it, even I'm sick of hearing about it. Leave it alone

老板很重要。这里有一种“面子”文化，一切都跟尊重和外表有关。喝酒和抽烟很正常，尤其是在吃饭的时候，因为吃饭就是社交活动和商务活动的结合。他们可能会试探你丈夫能喝多少。(虽然有一次我的组员担心我喝不了中国白酒，但我酒量还行，他们对我印象深刻)

如果你丈夫吸烟，递烟是礼貌的表现。如果他不吸烟，他们就会越来越习惯人们不吸烟了。

所有中国人都有相同的观念，那就是热爱祖国，这就是中国，万众齐心。这些话题他们听腻了，就连我也听腻了。

My wife just reminded me, back to the understanding point. Don't worry too much about causing social gaffes. But try more not to get insulted. They are more open about talking about how you look. If your friends having seen you in a while they will mention how you have gotten fat/thin, it's more of a greeting and a way to talk about what's happened etc. Also skin color, currently they see lighter skin as more beautiful, a colleague went on holiday and came back with a tan, was very happy. Then her coworker gave her a gift…skin whitener… they were trying to help

Overall, the Chinese are great people and super nice. The average person may come off as rude but that's how they are to strangers. Once they see you as friends (which will be before you see them as friends) they are extremely nice and caring and treat you like family. Enjoy yourself

我的妻子刚提醒我，回到理解的问题上来。不要太担心会社交失礼的问题。但是也别担心被无礼对待的问题。他们喜欢谈论你的长相。如果你的朋友一段时间没见你了，他们会问你怎么胖了，或者瘦了，这在更多的时候是一种问候，一种关心生活境况的谈资等等。还有肤色，目前他们认为浅肤色的人更漂亮，一个同事去度假回来晒黑了，很开心。然后，她的同事给她送了一份礼物，一套美白护肤品，他们也只是想帮助她。

总的来说，中国人很不错，非常友好。一般人可能会有点粗鲁，但这就是他们对待陌生人的方式。一旦他们把你当成朋友(在你把他们当成朋友之前)，他们就会非常友好，关心你，把你当成家人。生活愉快。

Waitai West Rakete

This isn’t really a social gaffe. But be very careful when using the modern Chinese sitting toilets. They tend not to be able to handle as much toilet paper as the Western model when cleaning up afterwards. I got in the habit of using three flushes. Doing this is not a big deal as the water is not drinkable anyway.

One mistake I made, was in misinterpreting conversation going on around me, about me. I often felt I was being made fun of. But if possible, check what is being said before responding, Even if you sense a rosy interpretation is being applied. Otherwise if unsure, just smile nonchalantly.

这并不是社交失态。但是在使用现代中式坐便器时要非常小心。它们往往无法像西式马桶那样冲走那么多卫生纸。我已经习惯了要冲三次马桶。这样做没什么大不了的，反正那些水本来就不能喝的。

我犯过一个错误，就是误解了我身边人针对我的谈话。我常觉得自己被人取笑。但如果可能的话，在回应之前先搞清楚对方说了什么。否则，如果不够确定，就冷静微笑吧。

Bring gifts for key attendees at social or other gatherings. Especially things from your home country. These can vary from powdered milk, manuka honey, wines, dark chocolates, to sheepskin duvet inners, spirits, or even some delicacy from your country. In my time it was easy bringing all sorts of produce into China. So once I even brought in frozen paua (abalone) that I had gathered myself. Bottles of wine (non-duty free) are limited to six for each adult passenger (check on this beforehand). I didn’t bother with bringing our indigenous jewellery to China, because they have their own. So I received gifts of jade, amber, water buffalo horn, as well as the Chinese bai jiu (white rice spirit alcohol).

Overall, it is difficult to offend Chinese if you just keep in mind that you are in their country. To me they seem to be very fair and balanced in their perspectives. They may like to compare their country’s achievements with your own. And they can be quite sharp of wit, at your expense. It is good to garner some social connections, while still exhibiting your business acumen. Because it is not in the mind of the average Chinese to gain some pecuniary advantage, but in business it is best to be as competitive as you can, as they will do.

在社交或其他聚会上为重要的与会者带上礼物。尤其是来自你自己国家的特产。可以是奶粉、麦卢卡蜂蜜、葡萄酒、黑巧克力，或者羊皮羽绒被、烈酒，甚至是来自你的国家的一些美味佳肴。我那个时候，把各种农产品带进中国很容易。有一次我甚至带了我自己捕的冷冻鲍鱼。每位成年乘客最多只能携带6瓶酒(非免税)。我没有想过要把我们本土的珠宝带到中国，因为中国有自己的珠宝。我收到过玉石、琥珀、水牛角和中国白酒(白米烈酒)等礼物。

总的来说，只要记住你身处中国，就很难冒犯中国人。在我看来，他们的观点是非常公平和谐的。他们可能喜欢拿自己国家的成就和你的国家比较。在展示你的商业智慧的同时，获得一些社会关系是件好事。因为普通中国人对金钱没有太大的迫切渴望，但在商业上，你最好尽可能地具有竞争力，他们也会这样做的。

David Phillipson

Honestly, it’s a minefield here. Even after several years I still do things that people laugh at.

Basically, just being foreign is enough for many. They don’t mean it in malice. But even today, foreign people in China are still quite an abnormally.

Simply saying a friendly hello to people who say it to you in public can lead to guffaws of laughter from the other party.

Using chopsticks is difficult for many foreign people here too. Much to the amusement of Chinese hosts at any one of the very many and also countless lunch or dinner invitations we get invited too. I’m glad I learned how to use them long before I came to China.

If he owns a green hat or cap of any kind, tell him not to bring it with him.

Also whenever bargaining prices on anything, avoid using the number 250 as it sounds like the word stupid when said aloud.

老实说，这是个雷区。即使过了几年，我还是会做一些惹人笑的事情。

基本上，对很多人来说，你是一个外国人这件事就足够有趣了。他们没有恶意。但即使在今天，外国人在中国仍然不太寻常。

在公共场合简单地跟你打招呼的人打个友好的招呼就会引起别人的哄堂大笑。

使用筷子对这里的许多外国人来说也是件困难的事。在我们收到的许许多多、不计其数的午餐或晚餐邀请中，都让中国主人感到很好笑。我很高兴我在来中国之前就学会了如何使用筷子。

如果他有绿色帽子，告诉他别戴

另外，在砍价的时候，不要用250这个数字，因为听起来有点“愚蠢”。

If anyone asks are you “SB”? Don’t say yes. It does not stand for “somebody” it means you are an “idiot”.

Best thing he can really do, is have a lot of patience, and an ability to take everything with a pinch of salt.

The people of China are extremely friendly, and very welcoming of guests into their lives and homes all the time. Sure they laugh at us from time to time, but it is a taboo if we laugh at them in return for anything.

Regardless of all that though, I absolutely love living here. It’s truly one of (if not THE) most culturally rewarding experiences of my life and I would not change it for anything in the world.

I hope your husband enjoys himself here just as much as so many of us already do.

如果有人问你是SB吗？别答“是的”。它并不代表“某人”，而是说你是个“白痴”。

他能做的最好的事情，就是有很大的耐心，以及对任何事情都持保留态度的能力。

中国人民非常友好，非常热情好客。当然，他们不时地嘲笑我们，但如果我们嘲笑回去，就是个禁忌。

尽管如此，我还是非常喜欢住在这里。这真的是我生命中最有文化价值的经历之一，我不会为了世界上的任何事情而改变它。

我希望你丈夫生活愉快，就像我们很多人一样。

Kevin Anderson

China is a Confucian society.

Thus, the boss is always right.

Thus if the boss said, “Tomorrow, the new arrangement is ABDGF, and it rains it will be ABDGM. What do you think, foreign colleague 1.”

FC1: “Yes, I think that that is good, but what about ABDGN, just in case transport is difficult?”

Deathly silence.

In all my many years in China, never once at a meeting did a (local) colleague propose anything substantive.

Me, I answered each question to the best of my ability.

中国是一个儒家社会。

老板永远是对的。

因此，如果老板说:“明天，新的安排是ABDGF，如果下雨，就会变成ABDGM。”你觉得呢，外国同事1号?”

外国同事1号:“是的，我认为那很好，但是ABDGN呢，万一运输出现问题呢?”

其他人都沉默。

我在中国呆了这么多年，(当地)同事从未提出过任何实质性的建议。

而我，我尽我所能回答了每一个问题。

Try, if you and your family have time, to learn Chinese writing. For me, it is where art gallery meets ink meets paper or signboard in daily life.

Every character has meaning and usually a long history. Truly a visual, artistic, meaningful symbol/syllable.

The Chinese language has historically internally compounded to create new words.

English often internally compounds eg. highway, eggplant. But almost all fine eating words are French and all scientific words are Ancient Greek with a garnish of Latin.

In Chinese, tonsil is “flat peach part”. This new word is indelibly imprinted because when I was in China an adult daughter had a sudden and severe attack of tonsillitis.

如果你和你的家人有时间，试着学习中文写作。对我来说，它是墨、纸、招牌在日常生活中的艺术馆。

每个字都有意义，通常都有着很长的历史。真的是视觉，艺术，有意义的符号/音节。

历史上，汉语会内部合成创造新词。

英语中经常有内部复合词，比如高速公路，茄子。但几乎所有的美食词汇都是法语，而所有的科学词汇都是带有拉丁语修饰的古希腊语。

在汉语中，扁桃体是“扁桃部分”。我在中国的时候，我的一个已成年的女儿突然得了严重的扁桃体炎，所以我对这个新词有着不可磨灭的印象。

 译文来源：三泰虎 http://www.santaihu.com/p/50774.html 译者：Joyceliu

John Chow

I’m an Australian Asian living in Ho ng Kong. Plenty of good answers about what to do and what not do. Chinese don’t really expect non Chinese to do Chinese things, and many things will be laughed off.

One important consideration is team work and conflict resolution in the work place. Chinese people are very big on Face.

Western cultures tend to teach people to be be open to criticism and feedback. Chinese culture is very much the opposite. People will take offense to being corrected in front of their peers, and will be very embarrassed if called out. You won’t know they are offended, but they will keep it to themselves and get back at you later on when you aren’t expecting it.

我是住在香 港的澳洲亚裔。关于该做什么和不该做什么，有很多好的答案。中国人并不真的指望外国人能遵循中国人的做事方式，所以很多事情他们只会一笑置之。

一个重要的考虑是工作场所的团队合作和冲突解决。

西方文化教导人们要乐于接受批评和反馈。中国文化正好相反。人们会因为在同伴面前被纠正而介怀，如果被点名则会很尴尬。你不知道他们觉得被冒犯了，但是他们不会说出来，而是在你没有预料到的时候报复你。