Someone said Japanese wives are the best in the world. How true is this? What's it like to have a Japanese wife?

有人说日本太太全天下最好的太太。真的吗？有一个日本太太是什么感觉？

以下是Quora网友的评论：

Lofi Dunbane

My wife is Japanese. She did some print modeling when I first met her and was considered by many (my colleagues/friends) to be very good looking. When I first met her, she was REALLY hard to get. Guys were swarming all around her - many of whom are much better looking than me. She was a wild young woman then. She would even make out with other girls. of course, she would see multiple guys and I was just one of many.

我妻子就是日本人。我第一次见到她的时候，她是一个平面模特，我的很多同事和朋友都觉得她长得很漂亮。我们刚认识那会儿她很难追的。男人们围着她团团转，有不少人比我帅气得多。当时她也是一个玩得很疯的姑娘，甚至会和其他女孩亲热。当然，她也会和很多男人约会，而我只是其中之一。

What turned it around for me was when I met another girl, and gave her less attention, then all of the sudden, she was way more interested - AND she asked me to be her boyfriend! Imagine that!

当我遇到另一个女孩的时候，我对她的关注变少了，她却突然对我感兴趣起来—她让我做她的男朋友！

We have been married for 8 years and she is a great, loyal wife and great mom to my son. She always puts us first. I have to admit, I have a hard time reconciling the person that I first met, vs. the person she is today. She literally is the perfect wife. She doesn’t demand anything from me, and always acknowledges my hard work. She never asks for anything material. What little money she makes, she will spend it on my son. I simply can not imagine life without her. I would agree with that generalization that Japanese make the best wives. Now go get yourself one.

我们现在已经结婚8年了，她是一个出色、忠贞的妻子，也是我儿子的好妈妈。她总是把我们放在首位。我必须承认，我很难把今天的她和最初的印象结合在一起。她真的是一个完美的妻子。她对我没有任何要求，总是对我的努力表示赞许。她也从来没有任何物质方面的要求。她挣的那一点点钱都会花在我儿子身上。我简直无法想象生活离了她会是什么情形。我很认同日本太太天下第一的说法。你们也赶紧给自己物色一位吧。

Brian Burnside

Related

What is it like to have a Japanese girlfriend or wife?

It is no picnic. I've been married to my wife for almost 25 years. I love her to death.

It doesn't matter if your wife is Japanese or American or European or whatever. They are first and foremost woman. They have wants and needs. Second, you married them because you loved them.

找一个日本女友或太太是什么感觉呢？

这并非易事。我和我太太结婚快25年了。我爱死她了。

不管你的太太是日本人、美国人、欧洲人或是其他国家的人。她们首先是女性。她们有欲望，也有需求。第二，你和她们结婚只是出于你爱她们。

Japanese women can and do cheat like women from any other country. Actively love them and they will treat you well.

Don't seek a japanese wife unless you know the language and the culture. I had lived in Japan for a number of years and spoke Japanese. That said, I never dated a japanese woman in Japan. I met my wife in college through a blind date.

We eventually got married and had 4 wonderful kids together.

和其他国家的女人一样，日本女人也会骗人。好好爱她们，她们就会真心待你。

除非你了解她们的语言和文化，否则就不要找日本太太。我在日本住过几年，会说日语。我从来没有在日本跟日本女人约会过。我是在大学里通过相亲认识了我太太的。

我们最后结婚了，有了4个天赐的宝贝。

The challenges are that she will want to return to Japan from time to time. This costs a lot of money. Be prepared financially for this so it doesn’t affect your relationship.

They generally have a different view on religion. If she cooks, she is going to do a lot of Japanese dishes. Great if you like Japanese cuisine, not so great if you don’t.

Then kids will have dual citizenship and you will need to get both Japanese and American passports.. not cheap.

我们面临的挑战是，她时常想回日本。这可得花很多钱。你们要做好经济准备，以免影响你们之间的关系。

她们对宗教往往持有不同的看法。如果是她下厨，她会做一桌子日本菜。如果你喜欢日本料理，那当然再好不过，可是如果你不喜欢，那就挺难过的。

孩子们会有双重国籍，得同时申请日本和美国护照。这也不便宜。

If you don’t speak Japanese, you won’t be able to eavesdrop on her conversations. couples that speak each others language always eavesdrop. I speak Japanese, so it is no issue. Her friends will be Japanese as well. And they will speak in Japanese. If you don’t speak Japanese, then you won’t be part of the conversation. And you complaining about it is just selfish on your part. She put the effort in to learn English, you should have no complaints if you are too lazy to learn Japanese.

如果你不会说日语，你就无法偷听她跟别人的谈话。语言能够相通的夫妻都会偷听彼此说话。我会说日语，所以这也不是个问题。她的朋友也可能是日本人。她们会用日语交谈。如果你不会说日语，你就没办法聊到一块儿。而你如果抱怨，就是自私的表现。我太太很努力地学习英语，如果你懒得学日语，就不要抱怨了。

Then there are the creature comforts she will want from Japan. Clothing, Kotatsu, Food, Futon, Manga, etc. Not cheap in the U.S..

I don’t mind the expense at all. I love my wife and like to treat her to nice things.

I live for her hugs and kisses. I am 6′ and she is like 4′9″. A serious height difference, but she is awesome. That means she puts a lot of things down low and I can’t find them a lot of the time…

还有我太太喜欢购买日本商品。服装、暖桌、日本食材、蒲团、漫画等等。这些东西在美国都不便宜…

我一点也不介意这些开销。我爱我的妻子，我喜欢让她享受好物。

我每天都想要得到她的拥抱和亲吻。我身高6英尺，她只有4英尺9″。我们的身高差很大，但她真的很棒。这意味着她把很多东西放在很矮的地方，我多数时候都找不到它们……

And then there are the visa issues. Getting the green card and what not.

Most American-Japanese marriages end in divorce. I don’t recommend dating outside your culture unless you are willing to put in the effort to learn it.

还有签证的问题。申请绿卡等等，诸如此类。

大多数美日跨国婚姻都以离婚告终。我并不建议你和跨文化背景的人约会，除非你愿意努力去学习对方的文化。

Gregory Zannatos

When I was growing up, my mother who was Italian would always say that I should go and marry a Japanese woman because they take great care of their husbands. One of the biggest stereotypes you’d hear in Italy about Japanese women was that when the husband comes home from work, the Japanese wife would come over to her husband with a green bucket filled with warm water and scrub his feet. Another thing I used to hear is that Japanese wives were hard working around the home and great cooks.

小时候，我的意大利母亲总是跟我说以后娶个日本老婆，因为她们对丈夫照顾得十分妥帖。你在意大利能听到的关于日本女人最大的刻板形象之一就是，丈夫下班回到家，日本太太就会提着装满温水的绿水桶走到丈夫身边，为他洗脚。我过去还总听人说日本太太在家操持家务，厨艺一流。

Now that I live in Japan, I can tell you many of these stereotypes aren’t true. There are a lot of American men married to Japanese women and all of them use one word to describe their wives: COLD! Yes, the word “Cold” especially after having kids is the one word that is constantly used to describe Japanese wives.

现在我在日本定居，我可以负责人地告诉你，这些刻板印象大多都是错的。有很多美国男人娶了日本太太，他们都会用一个词来形容自己的妻子：冷淡！是的，“冷淡”这个词经常被用来形容日本太太，尤其是在夫妻俩有了孩子之后更是如此。

The other word I’ve heard about Japanese wives which surprised me considering the stereotype of hardworking Japanese people is that they could be “Lazy”. In fact, I have an employee who frequently has to take days off because his wife, who doesn’t work, doesn’t do anything around the home, doesn’t cook, doesn’t even take their son to the doctor. While he is at work, he has to also pay for a babysitter because his wife is just so lazy. They sleep in separate rooms and they have sex maybe once or twice a year if he is lucky. How do I know all of this about this employee? Well, his marriage to his Japanese wife is starting to affect his work performance and it is having a negative impact on his mental health.

我还听到过另一个对日本太太的令人吃惊的评价，日本人一贯给人勤快的印象，可有人居然说她们很“懒”。事实上，我有一个员工经常请假，因为他的妻子不上班，不做家务，不做饭，甚至还不带儿子看病。他上班的时候还得花钱请保姆，因为他妻子太懒了。他们分房睡，幸运的话也许一年能同床一次两次。你问我怎么知道这些隐私？因为他跟日本太太的婚姻已经开始影响他的工作表现了，对他的心理健康也产生了负面影响。

So to answer your question, no Japanese women are actually not the best in the world. That stereotype just isn’t true. A vast majority of Japanese wives are indeed cold and some of them can be lazy as well. If there are some positive traits for Japanese wives’ it would be that they are aren’t as materialistic as like Filipinas and most importantly you won’t have to send half of your salary to support the family of your wife as is the case with Filipinas.

所以，我会这么回答你的问题，日本女人算不上世界上最好的太太人选。这种刻板印象本身就不对。绝大多数日本妻子确实都很冷淡，有些还很懒惰。如果说日本太太有什么优点的话，那就是她们不像菲律宾太太那么物质至上，最最重要的是，你也不必把工资的一半拿去供养菲律宾太太的娘家。

JE Cook

Related

What are the pros and cons of having a Japanese wife or girlfriend?

拥有一个日本妻子或女朋友的利与弊分别是什么？

In a general sense, YMMV, Japanese girlfriends are wonderful for men who like attention, sexual fulfillment, planner, and fun. They are bad for men who are looking for a relationship equal, intellectually challenging partner, or a potential wife that remains the same as the ‘wonderful’ list. Pros of a Japanese wife are: household management, child care (if you have children with them), and they will let you have all the hobbies you want. Cons: They will want to return to Japan once they have children, you will become an income source for the household even more so with children in the house, you may feel betrayed by the significant behavioral change from girlfriend to wife, her family matters only and yours is tolerated / avoided, if you have children she views them as her exclusive property, not your children together and will likely slowly alienate them from you over time. Child abduction in Japan, or to Japan, is not an enforced crime. If / when she takes the children to Japan, they are gone forever and you will be erased from their lives.

总的来说，对于那些喜欢被服侍、追求性生活满意度、生活有计划和享受人生的男人来说日本女朋友是极好的人选。

但对于那些想找一个平等、聪颖的伴侣，或者想寻找一位符合“完美太太”清单的妻子的男人来说，她们就难以达标。

日本妻子的优点是：整理家务，照顾孩子(如果你们有孩子的话)，她们会让你满足所有兴趣爱好。

缺点：一旦她们有了孩子，她们就想回日本，有了孩子后你就会成为家庭的收入来源，你可能会因为她从女朋友变成太太后的巨大转变而感到背叛，她眼中只有自己的家庭，而对你的家庭只有隐忍和回避。

如果你们有了孩子，她会把孩子视为她的专属财产，而不是你们共同的孩子，随着时间的推移，孩子们可能会慢慢疏远你。

在日本，或者从国外往日本诱拐儿童都不是强制犯罪。如果她把孩子们带回日本，他们就永远离开你了，你也会从他们的生活中彻底消失。

The cultural training of woman in Japan has them fall in 3–4 roles that are mutually exclusive to the others. Girlfriend: carefree, intellectually inferior (not dumb, just subordinate) sexually active, beauty focused. Wife: serious, controlling, sexually restrained, trying to become ’mother’. Mother: matriarch and practical head of household, child enmeshed, sexually frigid, distant from husband. Old woman: child focused, vacation minded, trying to become grandma, waiting for grandpa to pass away to start ‘living’.

日本对女性的文化训练让她们无法应对3-4种角色，总是非常矛盾。作为女朋友时：无忧无虑，没头没脑(不是说她们蠢，她们只会服从)，性生活频繁，非常爱美。成了妻子后：严肃、控制欲强、性生活减少、一心求子。

当了母亲后：女家长、一家之主，眼中只有孩子、性冷淡，疏远丈夫。年纪再大一点后：围着孩子打转、只想度假、盼望孙辈，盼着爷爷去世开始自己的“人生”。

These are simple generalizations and miss the nuances that are part of any relationship. it is important to note that Japanese women tend to view marriage as a partnership or joint venture, not ‘love’ as many in the west do. ‘Love’ dies after children. You may love her immensely, but she won’t ‘love’ you back in any way you recognize from before.

我只是简单概括而已，并未考虑到各人的细微差别。日本女性会将婚姻视为一种伙伴关系或合资企业关系，不像许多西方女性那样将婚姻跟“爱情”绑定在一起。生完孩子后，她们的“爱意”就消失了。你可能非常爱她，但她不会用昔日的“爱意”回报你。

Be Kind

 Qualities of character, are individual traits regardless of race. Regardless of race, one can find people of great character. “Best”, is an opinionated derived title, subjective, not a fact.

一个人的品质，是不分种族的个人特质。在所有种族里都能找到品格高尚的人。“最好的”，真是自以为是的评价，十分主观，并非事实。

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