What is it like to have an Indian mother-in-law?

有一个印度婆婆是什么感觉？

以下是Quora网友的评价：

RashE

All mothers in law across the globe have the same reputation so Indian mothers-in-law are not the exception - especially when it involves their golden boys. They can be the devil incarnate, sweet as pie, or somewhere in between. Mine was horrid to me, but thanks to her treatment toward me I promised myself, even before my children were born, that I would never put their significant others through what that woman put me through for thirty.plus.long.years. I have kept my promise and have treated all my in-law children like my own, made the decision to love them equally, and never have interfered in their relationships.

全天下的婆婆都不咋地，所以印度婆婆也不例外—尤其是当涉及到她们的宝贝儿子时更是如此。她们有可能是魔鬼的化身，也有可能像点心一样甜腻，或者介于两者之间。我的婆婆就很可怕，但多亏了她对我的折磨，甚至就在我的孩子出生前，于是我向自己保证，我永远不会让我儿子的另一半经历那个老女人让我经历的30多年噩梦。我信守自己的诺言，对待我所有的儿媳妇都像对待自己的孩子一样，我爱她们，从不掺和年轻人的事。

Aparna Kv

My mother in law had strange demands like

我婆婆有奇怪的要求，比如

1.I have to dry the soap in sun after washing clothes and vessels

2.I shouldn't comb my hair inside home at all

3.I should keep vessels under sun daily

4.She will bring condoms kept in our room shelf and tell me using this is not healthy

1.洗完衣服和器皿后，必须把肥皂放在太阳下晒干

2.我绝不可以在家里梳头

3.我每天都得把器皿放在阳光下晒干

4.她会把我们放在房间架子上的避孕套拿来，告诉我这个东西不健康

5.When I go to my hometown to see my parents and come back i shouldn't have any unwashed dress and many more which I don't remember now. Failing to adher to these will trigger her and she wont confront me but full day she will keep on saying even after having education I am useless, her parents didn't teach her anything etc in low voice. My husband tried to defend me sometimes and sometimes he told she is guiding me to become perfect. I had already lived alone before marriage and was perfectly managing my life activities like cooking and washing. I lost love and respect to the entire family. I recognised one more thing I may have degrees from prestigious colleges in India but I am nothing in front of a woman who gave birth to man.

5.我回老家看望完父母再回来的时候，不能有任何未洗的脏衣服，还有很多我现在都不记得了。如果我不照做，她就会生气，她不会直接冲我发脾气，但她会整天说个不停，说我读了书也没用，我的父母什么都没教我等等。我丈夫有时会帮我说两句话，有时他会跟我说，我婆婆是想让我变得更完美。我在结婚前就自己住，把自己的生活打理得井井有条，比如做饭和洗衣服。慢慢地，我失去了对这个家庭的关爱和尊重。我意识到一件事，我也许拥有印度名牌大学的学位，但在一个生下了儿子的女人面前，我什么都不是。

Singh Sp

It depends on many things. However, I wish to share that I have been married since last 28 years living alone with two kids and husband. My inlaws were staying at native place. Things were ok for me. I have done lots of struggles as being a working I have to hire maids, lots of house hold chaos and office work. But I somehow managed the things. My in laws always had a feeling that we are earning money and they time to time demands for the same. My husband have three more brothers but nobody bother to give them like him. He spent lakhs of rupees on their wellbeing. I never objected since it was his forte. The problem started when my father in law died and my mother in law was not ready to live alone at native place.

这也分很多情况。但我想分享的是，我已经结婚28年了，我和先生以及两个孩子单独另过。我的公婆住在老家。对我来说这样非常完美。作为一名上班族，我也曾过得很不容易，不得不聘请女佣，我有很多家务和办公室工作要忙碌。但我还是努力兼顾了这一切。我的公婆总觉得我们会赚钱，时不时就找我们要钱。我丈夫还有三个兄弟，但没有人像他那样给父母钱。他为父母花了数十万卢比的钱。我从来不反对，因为这是他的父母。但我公公去世后问题出现了，我婆婆觉得她没办法自己一个人在老家生活。

Again none of my husband’s brother is ready to support her even their most of the responsibilities are over. Now since last one month she is residing with us in our small flat. I have to hire one maid for her which is extra burden on my pocket that is fine but tolerating her 24x7 is really depressing. I totally don’t like her. She was never good with me. I suffered a lot and have a dissatisfaction that why I should bear all responsibilities. My sister in law is also clever and praising my husband you are very good and obedient, so that he can only took the responsibility. I have no voice, no choice but to bear her responsibility. I lost all my happiness, I have no regrets for doing some work for her I have only regrets why me only.

我丈夫的兄弟们还是没人愿意赡养她。上个月起，我婆婆就一直和我们一起住在我们的小公寓里。我不得不为她雇了一个女佣，这对我的经济来说是额外的负担，但时时刻刻需要容忍她，这件事真的让人心生沮丧。我真的很不喜欢她。她对我从来都不和善。我吃了很多苦，我很不满，觉得为什么我得承担这一切责任。我嫂子可聪明了，她大夸我老公：你是好人，很孝顺，这种吹捧让我老公只能扛下这个责任。我没有发言权，没有选择，只能承担赡养婆婆的责任。我失去了所有的快乐，我不后悔为婆婆做点事，我只是生气为什么只有我摊上了。

Parul

An Indian mother-in-law (MIL) is like a racist and white supremacist person in a first world western country. The daughter-in-law (DIL) to her is like a “legal immigrant” (since married, not ‘in sin’) of darker skin to their country.

No matter how educated, civil, assimilating and contributing to the socio-economic landscape, the DIL is always someone they rue but bear.

印度婆婆就像第一世界西方国家的种族主义者和白人至上主义者。对她来说，儿媳就像一个肤色较深的“合法移民”(因为结婚了，不是“非法的”)。

无论这个儿媳妇的受教育程度如何，有没有礼貌，对社会经济环境的贡献大不大，儿媳妇就是让他们后悔但默默忍受的人。

CS Pallavi

After getting married my husband after staying for a week left for his job as he was under probation while I stayed back with my in-laws.

I cried terribly when he left as everything was new and moreover, not having him by my side was very disheartening.

结婚后，我的丈夫只在家呆了一个星期就回去工作了，因为他当时还在试用期，我就留在了公婆家。

我老公离开家的时候，我哭得很伤心，因为周围的一切都是新的，而且他不在我身边陪我，让我十分沮丧。

The first night after his departure, I was really upset, missing him, wondering how I am going to sleep alone (Lol! I really can’t sleep alone till this date) and just then my Ma-in-law interrupted the series of thoughts going inside me :

他离开后的第一个晚上，我真的很难过，很想他，我都不知道一个人要怎么睡(哈哈！我知道现在也不会一个人睡)，这个时候，我婆婆跟我说：

Mil: Pallavi, come sleep with me if you want.

I was just looking at her without uttering a single word and thinking how did she read those thoughts going inside my head.

Mil: You look tired, Let’s sleep!

I just hugged her like a child while slee, she hugged me even tighter.

婆婆：帕拉维，如果你愿意，就来和我睡吧。

我傻傻地看着她，说不出一句话，我不知道她是怎么读懂我脑子里的想法的。

婆婆：你看起来很累，我们去睡觉吧！

我像个孩子一样抱着她睡觉，她把我抱得更紧。

So here I am highlighting my perks of having such a cool Ma-in-law:

我要说说我有一个这么好的婆婆的好处：

Talk to her about politics, current affairs or any such stuff, trust me, she will blow you with her knowledge.

I gifted her a smart phone, helped her in operating it and now she is pro. A quick learner, I must say!

She is very friendly, in the span of three months she was knowing everyone in the society and also started giving yoga classes.

When for the first time I saw her doing yoga, I was flawed by her flexbility and how perfectly she was guiding everyone with all the aasanas.

She is a great cook and whatever cooking I know, its all because of her. Whatever special she cooks, it is shared with our immediate neighbours always.

我可以和她谈论政治、时事或任何事情，相信我，她会用她的学识让你大吃一惊。

我送给她一个智能手机，教她操作，现在她用得可溜了。我必须得说，她的学习能力很强！

她非常友好，在三个月的时间里，她认识了社区里的每个人，也开始教他们瑜伽。

当我第一次看到她做瑜伽时，我对她的灵活性和她对大家的指导所深深折服。

她是一个很棒的厨师，我知道的所有烹调手法都是因为她。她只要做了什么特别的菜，总想着跟我们的邻居分享。

You need to take a bow for her gardening skills.

The masterpiece is when she talks to Google. Her first line is “Hello, Google” and she talks so innocently that anyone will stop by and smile at her innocence!

She dozes off in action scenes in movies as she finds them boring.

Her chemistry with my Dad in law is so entertaining. We went to watch first day show of “Kalank” movie without checking the reviews. After half an hour my Maa in law slept. Dad pinched to wake her up.

你必须向她的园艺技艺致敬。

最精彩的是她和谷歌说话的时候。她的第一句话总是“你好，谷歌”，她说话时神态天真，所有人都会停下来向她微笑！

她看到电影的动作场面时会打瞌睡，因为她觉得这种打戏很无聊。

她和我公公之间太有趣了。我们没看影评就去看了《卡兰克》首映。半小时后，我婆婆就睡着了，公公使劲把她弄醒。

Dad: Why are you slee?

Maa: Who’s slee? I am not slee.

Dad: You don’t understand such movies!

Maa: If you are understanding the movie so well then why are you playing game on your mobile phone? Go out and play!

A guy from back seat just then said: “Uncle Aunty! Continue rakho na, movie se zyada aaplog interesting hai :p (Please continue, we are enjoying your conversation more than this movie)

公公：你怎么睡着了？

婆婆：谁睡觉了？我没有睡。

公公：你看不懂这种电影！

婆婆：如果你能看懂这部电影，为什么还要玩手机游戏？你出去玩去吧！

这时后座上有个人插嘴说：“叔叔阿姨！你们请继续，相较于这部电影，我们更喜欢你们的对话。”

After getting married we stayed together for five months straight, I remember crying thinking that in few days she will be leaving as Dad in law was alone and needed her more (my Dad in law is a government officer working in Bengal and my husband works in Gujarat)

I tried to remain strong, avoided eye contact. Suddenly, I heard the train coming and all my calmness was lost, I started crying like a kid and hugged her and even she couldn’t hold her tears back.

So having her is like a blessing, its not that we don’t have disagreements and its very important to have that little spice!

结婚后，我们一起生活了整整5个月，我记得当时我一想到她过几天要离开就忍不住哭，因为公公一个人生活，比我更需要她(我公公是在孟加拉工作的政府官员，我丈夫在古吉拉特邦工作)。

我努力保持坚强，不敢跟她有眼神接触。可当我我听到火车进站时，我失去了所有的冷静，我哭得像个孩子，我紧紧抱住她，她也控制不住她的眼泪了。

所以我婆婆对于我就像一种祝福，我们也会有分歧，但这一点情趣也是非常重要的！

Anonymous

My parents got married when my dad was 23 and my mom was just 19. A fresh Graduate, my dad did not have a job yet, but still very keen towards women education, he wanted my mom to continue her graduation. At this time, my grandfather was no more and the house was run by my uncles.

我父母结婚时，我爸爸23岁，我妈妈19岁。我爸爸刚毕业还没开始工作，但我爸爸非常支持妇女教育，希望我妈妈继续完成学业。当时我的祖父已经不在人世了，房子由我的几个叔叔打理。

Now, all three of them had stable government jobs. They already were done taking the burden of an unemployed brother and adding this “whim” of educating his wife broke the hell loose with constant fights in the family. At this point my grandmom stood up in support of my dad, saying that the property of my grandfather belongs to her after his death and she will sell it all if needed for the education of her daughter in law.

叔叔们都有了稳定的政府工作。他们已经受够了担负一个失业兄弟的生活，又加上兄弟妻子要继续读书，于是家中开始不断争吵。这时，我奶奶站出来支持我爸爸，说爷爷死后财产归她所有，如果需要，她会把它全部卖掉，供她儿媳妇读书。

It created a havoc where my uncles hated their own mom for this decision. But my Grandmom stood strong took all the criticism but supported the cause. thankfully my dad soon got a job and the issue ended within a year or so. But the bond my mom and grandmom shared was unbreakable.

Such was the bond they shared that many people used to ask my grandmom if she had no sons and why was she living with her daughter.

这在家中造成了一场灾难，我的叔叔们因为这个决定而憎恨他们的母亲。但我的祖母坚定地接受了所有的批评，但依旧支持我母亲读书。谢天谢地，我爸爸很快就找到了一份工作，这个问题在一年左右的时间里就解决了。但我妈妈和奶奶之间的感情从此牢不可破。

她们之间的关系非常亲密，亲密到很多人都问我祖母是不是没有儿子，为什么要跟女儿一起住？